Questioner: I just can't seem to find a girlfriend. Any tips?
Bentinho: Are you seeking too hard? I know for myself that when I'm simply being relaxed and not needy (which is constantly) it flows effortlessly. Also, I'm not in it for myself or to get something; it is more to be able to give and share and empower. There is little to no personal desire in the interactions (which is not to say I don't enjoy them to different degrees). It is all driven by love and the joy of empowerment unfolding as a result of coming together intimately.
I remember in the past when I was looking for a relationship—for love and companionship, really—it would never flow well. When I realized I am the happiest person I know and that ultimately, I am all I need, I became more interesting to myself than women. When that happened, women became more interested in me than ever before.
It's mostly an energy thing. When they sense you don't need anything from them for your joy; that you are most interested in the awesomeness of you and your life and your connection to your truth and passion, no matter what or whom, then that becomes like a magnet--because, quite frankly, no one likes to continue to interact with another if they feel the other person is needy of them. It's scary and sticky. They want freedom and something to “follow” or be able to pull themselves up on; they don't (always) want to be the one to pull up the immature, needy boys on the block. They want to be treated to a real experience where they can surrender into something more powerful than they have assumed themselves to be before that moment.
The female energy wants to be able to relax into a powerful presence that needs nothing in return. Their desire for this energy is their gift to you, because it allows you to become inspired to practice this. It will simultaneously purify your whole being, precisely because you are now training yourself to find everything you desire within yourself first—so you can then truly extend love and presence to another without wavering. And this is one of the most powerful experiences you can have as a male in a male/female interaction. It is very gratifying not to need her at all, but rather to just be able to give and enjoy freely, with no attachments or needs.
They sense they can actually gain something new and reach a new dimension within themselves by simply hanging out with you and getting to know someone who operates like that—a self-empowered person.
I would recommend you forget about “finding the perfect match” and simply start falling in love with yourself, more so than with any woman. Become more interested in you and your life of infinite possibilities than in any other person or thing, and you will naturally attract female beings for whom it will serve to be with you, and who will naturally serve you by being with you, too—even though you don't really need it anymore. You can still receive the love and enjoy the connection.
When you are ready to truly be of service, precisely because you have become your own fountain of power, the Law of Attraction will bring you purposeful encounters with zero effort—almost more than you can handle—whether they be brief and unattached, or long-term relationships.
In other words: Know your awesomeness. Know that you don't need her when you meet her, and be present to the truth of her soul when you connect with her. Know her better, or know her deeper self, more so than she thinks she knows herself, and you will have plenty of interactions that will teach you so many awesome things, both about yourself, as well as the female being. See her True Self, and that will automatically support her in seeing it and bringing it out more herself.
Don't look for anyone. Own the energy of love and affection within yourself, and they will find you. In fact, I can already see them lining up in the nonphysical for you. You're going to be a busy man...