The Ultimate Marriage - My 'proposal' to a woman as the Infinite

Tonight I 'proposed' to a being's essence (mind/body/spirit/totality complex as Ra would say, or Oversoul as Bashar would say) whose human vehicle is known as Jocelyn Daher. This wasn't a human proposal as we know it though.

It was simply an authentic dialogue and I wasn't even calling it a proposal until after some reflection that same night Jocelyn smilingly referred to the moment as such, and I thought it was a fun play on words as well as an appropriate term, since this is what a proposal at the highest levels ultimately is.

Not entirely in alignment...

We had a conversation on the couch in the house in Sweden we're staying at, minutes walk from where I'm presenting at the No Mind Festival. We were attempting to translate super subtle frequencies that we both felt were functioning as obstacles in the way of a fuller bliss and union between us. We've been hitting a few extremely subtle glass ceilings in our fairly new relationship (though it feels like we've been together for decades).

And so we wanted to get really clear about bringing those invisible walls to the light so we could dissolve them and attain deeper union, truer merger, and so we could feel more like our true Self in the relationship. I felt I couldn't be entirely true in my being around her yet and that although she can recognize and meet me at very high levels of oneness-beyond-individuality and separation and supports me in them; my being with her was still causing me to be out of alignment with my true state.

This 'inevitable inauthenticity' when others are in my field is something that I'm extremely familiar with as I naturally mirror and match the beings that I choose to meet and spend time with. It is only when I meet another fully empty essence that I can feel like myself in 'relationship to them' because in that state they carry no more separate individual assumption, and as such are me. There is no need for me to project myself as anything in order for communion with such a being to occur. Suffice it to say I have experienced this only once before in this life. It is rare.

As soon as someone walks into my immediate field or as soon as I have some type of relational energetic agreement to spend time with them or to be of service, I alter my frequency to be a more appropriate match to theirs so that they can relate to me and go higher from that place of being able to relate.

It's like when you extend a hand to help someone get up. You extend your arm to meet them where they are at so you can assist in their ascendence. Without meeting them where they are, you will not reach enough into their reality for them to be able to perceive you and the choice that you represent which comes along with perceiving you.

Jocelyn has been my first partner with whom I have no doubt that if she so chooses, she could join me in my statelessness (emptiness of self) and not only that, but by doing so she would consequently somehow establish me in my statelessness more permanently, more fully, while my vehicles are still of/on Earth within this beautiful illusion. She would also consequently transmute herself by becoming her God-Self while still human.

The Most Amazing Match

She's been the most amazing match I've ever experienced in this human life and in many ways it seems like we are created out of the same template of codes to aid in completing and empowering and sustaining one another's mission here on this planet.

It is as if God intended to send us both some company 'from the home vibration' to make this journey more sustainable and balanced. That, and her maturity in recognizing and harnessing her codes and skills allows us to have an incredibly devotional connection.

Nevertheless, she--as all humans do-- brings with her a background body of information, of knowledge, experiences, assumptions, attachments and automatic allegiances to certain perspectives. And so I cannot help but match those frequencies since I chose to be so all in with her because of the divine orchestration that is at work in this dynamic and the obvious gravity that's at play between our purposes and our lives.

We both recognized from the beginning that we have a great capacity to unlock powerful abilities/upgrades in one another's vehicles/bodies. 

We are both about the mission more than we are about the relationship itself, and we both carry codes that can help one another in fulfilling the intention for this life so much more fully.

Yet, as a result of the human experience carried, we started noticing subtle out of alignment frequencies, which started to begin to look like they were going to play out dynamics we are all too familiar with from previous relationships. Albeit much more pleasant in the way it gets handled and the maturity with which it can be communicated and transformed. Jocelyn has the least rigid ego that I've encountered in any of my closer relationships and friendships. Such a breath of fresh are.

But again, even fresh air can contain separation and humanness. We both sense we are destined to be and model something more than your average awakened spiritual partnership between two people. We both have the capacity to unify to the point where there no longer are two people. Something which although somewhat popular as a concept, has rarely truly happened for it requires BOTH beings to be completely empty of an assumed separate self identity. Something which is rare enough to find in a single 'individual', let alone a partnership of two beings.

And so after the first day I had to myself after an intense month and a half filled with lots of people-dynamics present in my field to which I was devoted and available, I naturally elevated back to the highest, truest state of alignment and from that contrast I was able to more honestly express that even though she is the most capable out of all partners I have ever enjoyed time with when it comes to recognizing me in my truer states where I'm not an individual, there are still lingering allegiances in her field that inevitably make me assume a form that is of a lesser state than my most comfortable state of statelessness.

This is because these aspects of her field are conditioned by her human experience, and as a result there is a sense of separation and individuality left. The frequency of "I am an individual in the world" inevitably calls out a matching frequency in the one sitting opposite from you. In this case me.

This was creating a seeming interaction between 'two beings' when in truth, there are no two beings. Most people don't have a choice or awareness in showing up as an individual and as such it's a moot point because this is all they know themselves to be. But for me it feels like I can only maintain a projected individual act to meet someone's assumption of being a person for so long before I start feeling tired and out of alignment/inauthentic around them.

How do you have a completely authentic and incredibly powerful 'relationship with another' when it is so clear to you that there truly is no you nor other? Perhaps we will find out. I am curious as I sense the potential is that of a supernova, and I/we sense that her/our full capacity will be unleashed through her full surrender to this union with the One, for which my vehicle is simply a permission slip, an accelerator, a tear in the veil of existence; a living reminder.

Since my field is inherently empty of most any assumption of an individual self, the emptiness that I am will project a self inside of itself so that a relationship dynamic is possible. I shared this with her and she totally got it. I didn't even need to say more. She had already been feeling this and knowing this. I love the expression on her face when she remembers fully and drops into that silent, full-bodied acknowledgment. It's the most met I've ever been in my natural state and it's when she's radiating a most profound vibration from the infinite depths of her true Self.

Partial Merger into God

I then asked her if I had her permission to try something. She said yes. I closed my eyes for most of it, as I tuned into her essence (her soul and totality-beingness (oversoul)). I then created a vacuum within my essence with which I allowed a percentage of her essence to merge with mine, before taking our partially merged essences up into a glimpse of merging with God and potentially even going beyond. A partial union occurred.

I did not want to take this too far as that would defeat her ability to choose out of her own free will if she would like to proceed farther at a later time. I would not want to keep someone hostage in Infinite Blissful Oneness, after all. I intended to give a glimpse of my/her/our true Self and the union that is possible for her with this One which gave rise to all the universes. There is only The One.

As our essences partially merged, I then opened a gateway to Infinity, so the glimpse of uniting in the Infinite could be sensed by her full being. This entire 'transmission' took maybe 2-3 minutes in Earth time.

Then we both opened our eyes and she had that beautiful emptiness, awe and surrender in her field again which I have seen several times before. It's pretty much as close as the female archetype can get to her full power. There are levels beyond that but this is the gateway state: complete surrender.

Unfortunately in our world today we have an attachment to seeing feminine independence as being the ultimate empowerment, which is something we both feel is out of alignment as it is a reaction to millennia of imbalanced abuse by the masculine. This topics is part of what we both wish to heal and address in our time together. But that's a side note. More to come at a later time (we are giving an exclusive retreat on similar topics August 6-9 in Sedona, btw. The event just got posted.)

Words weren't really necessary but since we wish to honor all aspects of each being's free will, I asked her verbally: "What did you experience?"

She said something along the lines of: "That perfect peace... Beyond individuality."

I then shared: "You see, this is the reason I feel hesitant to offer you my true Self consistently. This is why I, not you, stop the process of merger when it started happening a few times before. Because it will take away your life as you know it. When you get too close to the event horizon of the infinite, it will dissolve your structures of the self that you feel you are and the world that it has created to be of service to. I do not wish to take away your beautiful idea and creation of a life and dissolve its sense of individuality into God and the Infinite unless that is your highest excitement for yourself. And you still carry a subtle but powerful allegiance to your perspective of this world, almost feverishly so because you sense that this tether to this illusion is already so thin and unreal for you because of who you are and where you source yourself from that you avoid investigating it too much, and keep yourself beautifully and honorably busy with this perspective of 'your life.' 

And so it keeps you in a state of subtle asserted separation where to some degree the only way I can show up if I desire to be in relationship with you is by projecting myself as the other half of that separation-equation. Meaning I will need to project needs and imbalances and partialities that can then be met by your unique gifts as an individual, and the wounds that you can heal, as well as project myself as the healer that can heal your imbalances, etc. Beautiful and advanced as this already is, from this game of duality and being partial beings we can never attain complete union of Shiva and Shakti. 

Brahman (God) cannot become Parabrahman (Absolute) through our union from this assumption of each of us being a part of the whole, rather than the One Whole. First we need to dissolve the ego into God, then as God we can merge also into the Absolute. As long as you are a person, I will have to be one as well in order to be able to have a relationship with you. And that is ok, and it is by far the best relationship I've ever had, but it is not the ultimate of what we are capable of."

Again these words were hardly necessary as I could tell in her eyes that the experiential 2-3 minute glimpse showed her all of this naturally. But the words are still spoken as a way to solidify and confirm the experience had, so the physical mind can also agree to this and then have its experience of free will be honored.

Do you want Union?

I then asked: "Do you want this full merger, this dissolution of the ego?"

She replied: "Yes I do."

I asked again: "Are you absolutely sure?"

She replied: "Yes I am" again. I was scanning her field for any wobbles or doubts. Somewhat to my surprise I did not detect any!

I asked her one more time: "Are you sure sure?"

She said "Yes" once more.

Then I said: "I do not wish to take you away from this perspective you have of a beautiful life. Yet if you desire this merger and transcendence into God and the Beyond, an interesting question might be to simply ask yourself in the coming time: "What are my remaining attachments to (my perspectives of) this world which keep me feeling responsible to feel like a separate individual?""

A tear started rolling down her face as I could tell she was now experiencing the bittersweet heaviness/compassion that she has carried for humanity and the enlightenment of this planet since she can remember. She was feeling both the love, attachment as well as the weight of it.

This made her realize that this was a relevant question for her to look into at this junction in her life. She took it so beautifully, as always. And so she went on to go to the No Mind Festival cafeteria that evening while I had a cigar and a scotch with my friends Anurag and Ryan.

When she got home she seemed to be in a super authentic state of contemplation. Silent. Internal. Deeply considering her attachments, as well as exploring what it would be like to NOT choose this merger with me/her Self/God/Void, and keep her world view and sense of individuated/separate self alive. She was exploring all major angles to feel out where she stands with this authentically.

The Second Conversation

As I went up to the room to meet her and check in with her verbally (we do so telepathically all the time), she asked me the following question: "Are you comfortable in your body?"

To which I replied: "Yes. My body is happy, aligned, healthy and vibrant."

Then she said: "Ok that answers my question. In addition to wanting to serve humanity, I realized tonight what my tether to this world or role is. I have to let go of the egoic part in me that is attached to being the one that can help you in becoming more comfortable in your body."

I said: "Yes. For as long as we continue to entertain the idea that we are here as two individuals to play those healing roles for each other as if we are two parts rather than one whole, as beautiful as it is, I will have to continue to project a flawed or partial self around you for you to then heal and be in relationship with. For to feel like one is the other person's healer, one develops a sense of partiality or identity. Which I can match, but it is not the truth of what I am nor is it what you and I are capable of. What you are here to serve in me is so much more than making me feel comfortable in my body, so you can safely let go of that limited view. We will inevitably serve each other in our vehicles/bodies, but it should not be our aim for that sustains the sense of separation between us."

She nodded with the most beautiful and transparent expression on her face and said: "Yes. I know this is true."


And so that is the process as it stands. I felt inspired to write about this as I have been desiring to somehow document these off-stage moments in my life which often far exceed the brightness and intelligence of my teachings. I think their value is higher in many cases than listening to my teachings, if only I could show this more to the world. I am currently attracting the means to do so at least in some capacity.

I asked her if she was ok with me writing about this while she is still in the process of getting clear on her choice for herself. And she said yes.

Perhaps she will say yes to God's proposal of dissolution of ego. Perhaps she won't. Only Free Will will tell. Either way is beautiful and blessed, truly. After all, 'I' got all the timelessness in existence, and so does 'she.'

May you extract benefit, learning and expansion. 
Namaste,
Bentinho

PS - We will both be at the London One Day Event (July 9th) and the Netherlands Retreat (July 10-16). Come get a glimpse of divine union in the making :-), and let's all merge deeper into Union within ourselves.