Seemingly Social, But Not for Social Reasons
Most people I meet these days have a hard time understanding me or feel especially self-conscious around me. This is good. Let me share with you a little bit more of how I work internally.
I generally don't like socializing with people I don't already know and who know me, or that are not actively practicing the teachings that I am a composer/messenger of. And even with them I don't really enjoy socializing a lot of the time, unless the gathering is auspicious or hosted by me with a certain intention/vibration holding the space.
Whenever there is an opportunity for elevating frequencies, unifying consciousnesses and creating more direct awareness of the One Creator, I enjoy being social. If these results are not truly apparent or wanted, there is nothing of interest in that dynamic for me whatsoever. I can even appear as a grumpy old man in some circumstances to some people, when responding in contrast to peoples desire for fake spiritual 'social happiness' and validation.
I don't enjoy condoning or supporting anything unless it's absolutely true and authentic.
When meeting new people, or when getting picked up for a speaking gig for example and I'm stuck in a car with another-self's mind for several hours, or even meeting people at spiritual conferences or festivals I probably seem really uninterested to them in most cases. I can pretend for a few minutes at the most and then I usually have to begin the ignoring process or some ninja evasion tactics. Or I just tell them like it is, if I sense an understanding for it.
I'm a Prioritist
I'm not an introvert, nor am I an extrovert; I'm a prioritist. Non-existent time is always ticking for me in the background, and I don't feel good spending any of my illusory time on linear, story-based dynamics or on accumulating random data. I prioritize what matters to me and I take that to the extreme. I guess you could call it Bhakti--devotion--as well. I simply see it as being practical and sensible: I use every hour of this lifetime in the way that seems most useful and truthful.
99.999% of people, especially the seemingly spiritually oriented ones (I prefer hanging out with 'normal people' more sometimes, at least they don't pretend to not be deluded) are completely caught up in their stories.
Most people's main motivation when using their speaking device is to spread the virus of their opinions, proliferate their own sense of being somebody distinguished, spiritually advanced, psychologically interesting or 'exposed,' or to find validation from an illusory world of 'other people' that their minds project exists outside of themselves.
Basically everything the human mind can do to obscure Perfection it will put all of its energy and effort into, especially in social circumstances.
Here's the thing that's different about me from most people and it's something I'd encourage you cultivate within yourselves: at any given moment I am either completely absorbed in recognition of the One Infinite Creator or one of its most primary distortions (Absolute, Awareness, Unity, Love, and/or Bliss, inseparability, service-to-all), or I am contemplating how to penetrate or dissolve even more deeply into them, or I am absorbed in deep contemplative higher thinking as I am synthesizing new teachings, bridging new gaps in the collective's struggle for peace and enlightenment, or figuring out how better to be of service to awakening humanity.
Many adepts are focused on these topics, but what makes my experience different from most anyone I've met, is that this has become constant and continuous for me. I don't want anything else. I'm not interested in random data. Never really have been to the extent that others seemed to be content with. In fact, it becomes more and more difficult to interact with it in any way these days.
Allow Less Than One Hour of Focus Per Day on Nonsense
Example: If you were to take a waking cycle of approx. 18 hours and you would count all the moments where I am NOT absorbed in deep meditative absorption, contemplative/penetrative higher intuitive thinking or laser-like devotional service to others and you would add all these moments up, you would be able to count the total amount of time I spent focused in random ways in seconds, minutes at the most, total.
These are the seconds or minutes that most people would consider to be 'their life,' 'their space,' or 'who they are.' I consider it exactly what I'm not and where I don't want to be spending my precious awareness. I call it distraction and it is allowed to fester in so many people's minds due to a lack of clarity as to what truly matters and why we're truly here.
Never anymore does a stretch of more than a minute or two go by where I am not absorbed in penetrating deeper, dissolving more, or serving to a greater extent. This deeper and deepening Awareness is ever-on. It functions like a natural radar now, so when randomness takes me away from GOD-vision or 'What Truly Matters'-vision for longer than a minute, a deep Self-Awareness returns powerfully and eliminates any distraction on the spot.
When I have no job to do and no people to reflect, 'my' Awareness is either contemplating improved teachings, visions and projects, or being silently absorbed in the Bliss of the various 'levels' or 'degrees' of GOD.
With the exception of humorous thoughts, I cannot seem to have a meaningless thought or consideration anymore. There is always a sense of deep purpose behind my mind being active when it is. Humor serves a purpose, too, which makes it much less distracting, or even highly beneficial.
There is a constant gravitational field working on this electro-magnetic field most would call my mind. It is always being pulled within, deeper and deeper into the Creator, and random data or meaningless chatter with human brains generally feels like a waste of focus (unless they're genuinely open to expanding and they understand how to honor/respect my energy/time by receiving with genuine interest).
I could interact with people more on a surface level (where they consider themselves to be located), but I'd much rather love who they truly are from the depths of The Heart/Awareness, than to endure them thinking they are being really awesome while in truth they are running away from their center of Being and attempting to be seen and validated for it. It's sweet and innocent, but I have a hard time supporting it. I don't see supporting that behavior and applauding them for it as Love.
I make exceptions. I try to be genuinely nice when I first meet people and I am expected to shake a hand, smile, ask them where they're from, and say how nice it is to meet them. I love how innocent people are even when they're not, and so I try to connect to that part in them and bring it into magnification for them.
I'm quite natural at making rapport with people and highlighting them feeling worthy within themselves, but as soon as the stories and the ego begins to become manipulative and opportunistic even slightly through this interaction, I can't help but feel like an accomplice if I continue this game. And so I gradually go quiet, show that I lose interest, walk away or simply tell them that I'm not interested. Or I tell them in as nice yet unwavering a way as I can that they are full of themselves and that their insecurity is taking the better of them (when that feels appropriate or when they have context for this understanding).
Can you spend less than one hour per day focused on random data? Try it! Prioritize GOD, going deeper, and Service To All.
What The Heck is "My Life" Anyway?
What most people call 'their life' or 'time to themselves' has lost all meaning for me. My reason for being here has nothing to do with living a personal life, and so every minute spent pretending that I am a person feels like a waste and a dishonoring of the Creator. You know the feeling when you eat too much and you know it was completely unnecessary, and you feel glutenous and polluted by your own choice? You feel frustrated and 'dirtied.'
This is how I metaphysically feel when I spend more than a few minutes doing something that the average being who considers themselves a person thinks they benefit doing. Literally more than a few minutes of distracted focus, or time that's about me, and I start to feel out of alignment with this deep gravitational force calling me ever more into crystallization, Service-To-All and merger with GOD.
I have deliberately activated this illusion-destroying, prioritizing force so many times throughout my life now, that it continues to give back to me today by sucking me in automatically every second of every minute of every day. The ROI is worth the initial devotion to it. Even when I'm outwardly being occupied with something seemingly mundane, random or even entertainment based, I am inwardly always occupied in deeper realms of contemplation/being.
Social Skills Are Really Just Manipulation Skills That Everyone Is OK With
It's funny to see people who have never met me before interact, because they have no context and they can feel the love I hold for them, but then also I can be stern or ignore, or sometimes I act crazy and out of control as a way to deflect their default state of consciousness and keep them ever guessing.
All they know to expect is to interact with someone as if they are interacting with a person. So all of their subconscious manipulation skills (I believe humans call this 'social skills') don't work on me (unless I'm playing their game for a little bit, for some reason). It's interesting sensing the different responses people can have to a truly authentic/silent or disruptive field which needs nothing and cannot be pinpointed to normal social standards, and therefore cannot be manipulated---it forces people to face their own inauthenticity or at least the unclarity they overlook about who they really are.
The subtle tricks of mind are all too obvious to me to really enjoy spending time with most anyone if there is no real purpose to the social time.
I Dislike Most People's Minds, I Love Who They Really Are
Get me right: My love for people runs as deep as my own Self and it is unflinching, but my tolerance for acting as a person or accommodating people's plays is nearly completely destroyed. Where I could pretend to be a person for days in the past if necessary, I can barely stand a minute at present and the amount of chatter and manipulation people can tolerate oftentimes pushes me away from wanting to be naturally around them. The worlds people are so fascinated by are of extremely little interest to me.
The only real outward 'social expressions' I enjoy are those that cause benefit and that are in alignment with my calling: teach/learning, holding powerful silence in distracted groups until they sense the field and spontaneously shut up or ask a meaningful question to me or the group, or until everybody erupts in spontaneous meditation where all the fluff ceases to be entertained...
I also enjoy creating elevating and/or unifying (heart-opening) experiences/ambiances for people (hosting). My longer-term friends call me Great Gatsby sometimes. I can also at times enjoy creating a persona or image of a person by ways of what I post, or do, for the purpose of being a model of something bold, alive, awake and fearless so that people can wake up through using their projection of me as an 'awesome person'/symbol/permission slip.
You get the idea: wherever or whatever I sense will generate a lot of benefit for others, I engage with willingly and joyfully. Whatever does not contain benefit, I destroy, ignore, or get seemingly grumpy with. :)
Would You Bore Me?
Many of you reading this whole article will have minds that automatically respond with: "I know exactly what he means! That's how I feel around people too!" -- Yet I encourage you to see that although that may not be entirely untrue, that's most likely another egoic response to also wanting to be like this more than you actually are. Or perhaps as a way to explain away why you feel uncomfortable around people. Again, that may be partially true, but don't use it as an escape, as another story that would bore me if you shared it with me.
I say this because out of all the people I meet, even the relatively conscious ones, very few actually are capable of staying completely authentic within themselves. It's much more challenging than you initially think to be completely authentic and empty of ego/personal needs; it requires 100% dedication to truth for a long period of time over entertainment, excuses and distractions.
If you were to be in my presence, what are the chances that everything about your world--except for your True Silent Heart and the largely untapped potential of your Soul--and everything you would share with me would not bore me?
Most of you I would probably want to ignore as well if I had to spend more than a few minutes entertaining you socially; because it's all about yourself in one way or another. Rare is the true Shepherd, let alone the true Mirror.
Again this does not mean I don't love you or people in general, nor is it meant to discourage you from your journey; in fact it's because I am one with who you truly are that I am disinterested in who you are trying to make me think you are.
You know how people ask themselves "What would Jesus do?", well as an alternative you could ask: "Would I bore Bentinho right now?" and see how that reliably takes your focus from the false, the random and the meaningless into the Heart of Truth.
Let this silly question have your inner Shiva cut away all your illusions of self and take your focus into ever deeper penetration of Truth and razor sharp authenticity.
Sedona's Community Is Maturing
Luckily there is an ever growing community in Sedona of people and adepts who are ripe, ready, courageous and pure of mind enough to actually practice the materials, and as such I naturally feel way more social toward them; without needing to pretend (as much).
The fact that a lot of these people are coming into much greater emptiness-of-self, are wanting to deepen and purify their service to humanity (Shepherding Consciousness), are genuine, and put in the work to actually practice these truths, makes hosting or mingling significantly more enjoyable: because being social with these people actually goes somewhere in terms of unifying their consciousnesses, elevating their standards for focus and realizing more of the One Infinite Creator.
Unity and Bliss through Acknowledging the One Infinite Creator in each other is where it's at for me in terms of socializing. Merging individuals into cohesive groups, until unity of minds is achieved (social memory complex).
If you're interested in visiting Sedona at least twice a year to check out the growing community and attend the teachings/retreats, request to join here: Sedona Adepts FB Group
Our next retreat in Sedona is coming up soon btw. Click here to learn about the theme (Eye of The Vortex) and register. (October 23-27)
Thank you for listening to my Shiva Babbles. May it be of some service to you.
With Love/Light, always,
PS - This blog article is a good example of how I sometimes am called to operate: This article talks a lot about 'me' and it has several images of 'me' in it. It will seem narcissistic to some. Ironically I am not identified with this personality, its body or even with the processes described in this post! So then why do I seem to talk so much about myself and include pictures of myself and my retreat? Because it is known in the intelligence available to 'me' that it generates more benefit 'out there' than if it would not be posted.
In this scenario I get to play this role, create this model, paint this idea or example of a particular understanding so that people can relate to it and extract learning from it.
When one is empty of self, whatever one does is not for the self, but for the benefit of the whole. Dangerous proposition to the egoic self, and indeed this statement should not be taken lightly by being easily imitated or repeated, or you will experience backlash. Only when you're truly empty of personal needs can you make such a statement without a trace of arrogance causing ripples in your karmic field.
-->Read a participant's detailed and exposing report of attending the Netherlands retreat.
-->Sign up for our newsletter below to receive updates, inspirations, reminders and to be notified of the Netherlands Retreat next year, which is almost ready for early bird sign ups.