The Challenging Journey to God (through becoming fully yourself)

There is only one of you, and you are here with a purpose. The journey to crystallization is paved with hidden beauty and challenge. May this article be of some support on your journey.

This article is to encourage those who have awoken to the fact that they are a unique expression of the Infinite Consciousness and that they came here with a calling. I will describe 4 stages of crystalizing one's inner diamond, or divine spark. The fourth level ends in the ocean of God.

PS - Forgive any misspellings, repetitions or unusual flow, as I wrote this in one go within a short amount of time, and have other duties to attend to so I likely won't edit.



You are on a journey to mastering your particular expertise, your calling, your true self.

You are here to find out what you are made of, and your life's circumstances and your biases are the perfect laboratory for the unique 'experiment to expertise' that is your present incarnation.

Yet it's not always easy... 

If you're not very far along into mastering the thematic exploration and offering you chose for this life, you may not be fully aware of what this is unique expertise is yet.

Even if you do consider yourself a senior at being you, and you are very clear on who you seem to be, you may still be in for a surprise sooner or later, as all who go from the advanced stages into the expert stages of crystallization will need to die many times over, until they know not who they are and become empty vessels for the Creator to shine through free form distortion.

It is usually only at the stage of the ego-death that the truest, rarest and clearest work of art comes through and the entire journey and all the struggles that came with that path have revealed their true intent.

This is rare, but possible for anyone in practically any stage of life.


Your unique self is like a diamond in the rough

When a diamond is first dug up from the Earth, who can tell what cut it's going to get and what type of jewelry it will be a part of? Knowledge comes with time and is quite irrelevant in the end. What matters is that you woke up to the diamond in the rough that is you, and you are committed to continue to wake up to the purposefulness of your unique self.

Wherever you may be at present on the spectrum of awakening or remembrance, may you benefit from the following words as you proceed and become more and more crystallized and actualized.

1) The Early Stages of Crystallization - Awoken

Who's your family now...?

The Early Stages are in some ways as challenging as the later stages, though in different ways.

In the later stages one has already shifted one's orientation from the outer world to the inner world significantly, so the challenges are more subtle and less obvious. 

In the early stages you are new to this inner diamond that was hiding in plain sight, beneath the dust of your conditioned mind and environment, and so you may be quite startled and unsure what to do with it.

In the early stages what you tend to deal with is you're trying to figure out how this new calling fits in with your old life... only to discover in 99% of the cases that it doesn't. You will try to resist this inner knowing for a while, and you may even succeed for years, deacdes, but usually this comes at a great cost to your well-being, joy, sense of freedom and physical health.

Another thing you're dealing with in the early stages is the uncertainty and lack of clarity of this inner diamond. Even though you have now dug up the precious diamond of your uniqueness (congratulations!); it's still dusty, it's milky, it's unclear, it doesn't come with a guidebook, Geiko or life insurance, and it's yet to define itself as anything you can recognize or describe clearly. You may not even know where to start if someone were to ask you what is it that seems to drive you so anew?

For many, those that they grew up with and/or the family they were born into no longer seem to really get your new energy and direction, and finding support oftentimes means finding new people to befriend, and familiar ones to let go of. This can be tough. It becomes easier once you see the consequences of NOT going through with trusting your inner light...


Seek out new family, it's crucial

I strongly recommend that you seek out the communities that are engaged in the subjects that relate to and support you in the essential understanding and expression that you wish to become an embodiment of in this life.

Unlike the challenge of the expert stages of crystallizing your inner diamond; in the early stages you are rarely truly alone in what you presently need and seek to advance you. Since you're still in the undefined 'muck of generality' when it concerns the level of clarity your diamond has been given by your conscious efforts and practice to make it clearer; much of what you seek and need has already been discovered by others, and they have most likely left you a path to follow.

Cutting your diamond to expertise status is something only you can do and know, but cleaning your recently-dug-up diamond in the rough from its muddy layers is a common practice and many different types of communities can support you in this so you can see more clearly your diamond's unique shape, upon the removal of the mud.

Thus then: know that there are many others and there are likely multiple communities of like-minded people out there to support you in this stage. Find them/ask for them and welcome them into your life. General like-mindedness and general tools usually suffice to advance your crystallization to the next level of 'clarity and rarity'. Find support in teachings, (new) friends, and environment to nourish your growth.

Be bold enough to seek out an environment that suits your development, even if it's just online for now. Just make sure your familiar group of friends isn't dragging you down too much. If it is, change something about it or if necessary remove yourself from that environment altogether and seek out a truly inspiring one, while maintaining integrity by communication clearly your change of heart to those you have prior agreements or understandings with.

Trinfinity Academy is a free Online School for Self-Actualization and Self-Realization. This particular lesson on balancing integrity with your new direction may support you in greater depth.


Trust in your Calling...

Trust in your calling and notice how anything less than trusting your calling starts to feel worse and worse as you go on. This is the intelligence of your Higher Mind's emotional guidance system kicking in. Again, trust it. Seek out the right tools, reading materials, people and environment as much as you can.

Trust in it so much that you're willing to let go of those you love, if necessary. This is often the most challenging part, and not only in the early stages of waking up to your purposefulness or calling, but later on in different, new ways as well.

You have my support. I am you in heart and spirit, and thus I am with you in heart and spirit.


Your One and Only Real Purpose

Your unique diamond incarnated into the dirt of Earth only to be dug up, cleaned, polished and expressed fully. Remember: that's the only true reason you are having a physical experience right now. All the circumstantial things that seem to important--including the individuals you are consciously familiar with--it all pales compared to the true purpose behind you being here. And it's your honor and duty to find out what that is and commit yourself to crystallizing the rough but unique diamond that you are.

A rough diamond will look like any other at first glance, but as you clean, polish and crystallize it, it will take on a very specific, unique, rare and desired-by-the-world shape and radiance. The way that your inner diamond lets through the Light of God/Source is completely unique. It's why you were created.

To open your heart and mind to the crystallization of your unique inner calling; to embrace everything that comes with that journey, and to commit to that with as much earnestness, practice, and take it as far and long as you can before your body perishes... That is the purpose of your life.

2) The Middle Stages of Crystallization - A New Life

Getting clearer...

The middle stages is when you have found a new family and you've altered your environment to reflect your newly awoken to unique spark of Creation. You've just followed a bunch of pages and groups on Facebook perhaps that remind and inspire you to clean, polish and crystallize your diamond further everyday. 

You may have moved to a different location, changes jobs or quit them altogether, perhaps a change in partnership or friends has arisen... 

You start to feel good and supported. You realize the journey ahead is long and most likely challenging, but you are excited to be where you are at and you are grateful for the support you have been able to attract to yourself by simply believing that you could and not holding on too tightly to your familiar life.

You gave yourself the gift of freedom of expression and you feel healthier, more vibrant than before. 

The main challenge at this level is to not stop or stagnate at the comfort you have created. Your purpose is to learn from your new environment, to grow from it, but to always remember to tend to the diamond within. Rarely is the crystallization of the diamond within blessed with a permanent and stable community that you'll be supported by for the rest of your life.

The path of the Adept is filled to the brim with surprises, unexpected turns, and personal life changes. So stay focused and keep the faith. Enjoy, have fun, love your heart out, even relax, but simultaneously keep going and keep your eyes on the further polishing and crystallizing of your unique spark of the Creator within.


3) The Advanced/Expert Stages of Crystallization - Getting Good

Get that ego in check...

There are many beautiful qualities about this stage, such as the ability to be of greater service to others on their journeys, and the deepening of understanding one has gotten of oneself. Yet I will focus mostly on the obstacles that can come with this stage, so you can use it to advance further...

The advanced/expert stages are usually the stages where you'll start to run into your own ego, arrogance, stubbornness, biases, pride and different forms of insistence the most. This is often 'the cocky stage.'

So you've been around the block. You've read many books, had many dialogues, found your own voice, you probably have a website or a blog, and you probably are coaching others in your field that are dealing with the earlier stages of their own awakening and crystallizing.

This is all really beautiful and beneficial, it truly is, yet it can come with quite the obstacle: your past self.

You start to feel really good about yourself... Things are flowing for you. You are becoming masterful at being who you are, and you're becoming masterful at describing it to others.

You still have your ups and downs, you still have your challenges and humbling moments, for sure, but overall you have become quite the expert in the niche that surrounds your unique spark.


The Ultimate Goal: Union with the Creator

But you see, the niche you're in is NOT your diamond.

The diamond is NOT the tools that helped clean it... Your community is not your gift to the world.

This is a very subtle and tricky realization to truly practice and attain, but becomes very important to realize at this stage, if one desires to get closer to the true inner spark which IS God itself.

This is where most people get lost and stay lost, because it's the most comfortable stage to stay in and this is where the imposter self within us can easily maintain its footing.

There is a certain security here and a certain degree of social status perhaps, or recognition. There is pleasure, potentially power, possibly wealth or social freedom. Or perhaps the sense of having accomplished becomes an excuse to stop the polishing and cutting of the inner diamond for a while... but 'for a while' much too often becomes 'for the rest of your life...'

This is the subtlest, trickiest, most temptation-filled stage to be fooled by and prevented to reach where you individual river meets God's ocean. Which is the ultimate goal of the Adept looking to crystallize themselves as a vessel for Source.


Suppressed lack beliefs cloaked in new clothes...

Everything suppressed in you as a child or teenager, has suddenly found the new clothes of your 'expertise' and social status to cloak itself in. It starts to re-emerge as you feel good about yourself.

Your basic, fundamentally unresolved insecurities rise to the surface and pose as 'being awesome.' By now you're probably able to hide them well, even among many of your peers except for the keenest of peers, or those who have penetrated into the stage of Union with God and have become much more empty of self.

In this stage many of you will be able to quite easily and secretly get whatever it is you have always wanted but had given up on in the past, and was not on your mind as a real possibility in the previous stages of crystallization. As such, your suppressed insecurities didn't come to the surface and didn't take control as much then. They remained asleep. Some call this your shadow. 

You are most likely working with others at this stage and you are appreciated for your skill and experience. You love co-creating. People like your radiance and are impressed by your mastery of your personality. You probably avoid hanging out with those who can see through whatever subtle lack beliefs have now taken a hold of the character you have become, unless you're one of the rare ones who is ready to move on.

Nothing inherently wrong with this stage, in fact there is a lot that comes with it which is beautiful and pure and of service. But the web can thicken if you're not paying real close attention, and the insecurities from your past can overthrow your mastery and enslave you in a new way. And this doesn't always have to come out in the form of the cocky macho, it can come out in the form of a sweet, always on-point female goddess.

It can come out in very subtle ways too. Basically, it's safe to assume you have some of this shadowy self lurking and taking an attached hold on you and your life and attainments.

At this stage it requires either great suffering, obstruction to all one desires, or extreme keenness or intelligence or self-knowledge on behalf of the adept. Something that's still rather rare in our world.

This stage functions like a filter. It lets through to the next stage whomsoever has become ready for merger with God not only in knowledge, but also in expression.

Spending some time in this stage is like being tossed around inside of this filter, which over time will separate the unripe fruit from the ripe fruit; the true shepherding consciousness here to be of service-to-all from the unready soul who has done a magnificent job but simply won't move passed this stage until further matured through catalyst (usually suffering).


My Advice to those in this Stage - Consider...

The main challenge for one who wishes to proceed is to get over their own ego, which often requires profound and repeated and most of all earnest introspection for the cause of one's insecurities/lack-beliefs.

This stage can take years, decades, or can take forever when not exposed to the right guidance and reflections.

This is the stage where many experts and guru's stay for the rest of their life. It's the typical co-dependent dynamic we see in almost all types of relationships, except now you're at the top of the food-chain so it becomes trickier for the ego-effect to let go of its achieved control. It perceives it has something of meaning or value to lose. The plot thickens.

One must find it within oneself to want to purify the diamond ever more, until it is so clear that it can let God through undistorted. I can only encourage you to go on, for the rewards are much greater than anything the illusion of the external world can give you.

How about union with God? Have you sincerely considered what that means?

How would you like to experience an indescribable love for yourself and all of the Grand Illusion, including humanity? A love so great it cannot utter any bias, it cannot desire to hold on to safety, control and security any longer.

Imagine always being able to tap into an unspeakable and divine bliss and union so true and pure, that the only thing that seems relevant for the remainder of your life is to be of service to others and communicate the light of Union--through the now highly crystallized, purified unique diamond--with whomsoever wants to hear it...

It's worth the sacrifice.

Ask yourself... Now that you've come this far, could you truly stomach yourself when upon death you review your life and you realize you had given way too much importance to your achievements, sense of comfort, security, wealth, and/or social status/power?

Would you want to die knowing you never quite made it home? Would you want to die knowing in your heart you never quite did it for others as much as you would liked to have thought?

Or would you want to die feeling the purity of God beating as your very own heart because of the personal sacrifices you were willing to make over and over again...

Your/this ultimate achievement cannot be measured by any tools present in this world. The only way you will know you have achieved this, is when the mind goes totally quiet, and the Heart speaks with the grace of a trillion suns.

4) The Divine Stages of Crystallization - Becoming the Creator

You have run out of worldly support...

Now it's just between you and God.

No human can teach you how to go deeper into purity. In fact, your habit of listening to other people's babbling minds and 'expertise' will generally only distract you at this stage. You start to realize everyone is full of sh*t. And that that's OK, you just cannot participate any longer.

Only one who has attained union with the Creator through emptiness of self... only another true Shepherding Consciousness can assist you directly in going deeper at this point. And those are still extremely rare upon this Earth.

So for most of you, you'll have to understand that you need to drop the habit of listening to other people's feedback and teachings as 'carrying authority.' That being said, if you truly are at this level, it is much more likely you'll attract someone into your personal world who has been there and can guide you deeper. When you are ready, the teacher will always show up. Yet at this stage, after being pointed there by a teacher, the best teacher is The Creator itself. Turn to THAT.


Feedback is about them, not you

You can safely let go of feedback now... Of course this is assuming you've actually reached a level of purity, integrity and self-knowledge to where you know you would never do something deliberately against the first principle of the One Infinite as it moved into Creation: Free Will.

But assuming you have indeed become pure enough in your self-knowledge, without which you wouldn't truly be entering into this stage anyway, you may proceed letting go of other people's feedback and teachings when it comes to finding out who you truly are. In fact, letting go of their feedback becomes the main rite of passage. The true test of independent wisdom. The gateway into merger with the Creator.

Few are truly ready to become an authority, pure and empty, yet unshakable in their truth. On this world but not of it. Those are the true Sages, and they are rare. But many more get to dabble in the beginning stages of this exploration. And that's what we're exploring here:


Turn your gaze away from the world, and completely to the One Divine Within

Nobody can tell you who you are anymore. All the experts in your field have run out of descriptions and tools to offer you to further your journey into becoming YOU and crystallizing that inner spark. 

Only you can go through this next phase. It seems utterly lonely and scary at first, and at times. Like staring into a black hole of death and uncertainty, feeling the impending consequence of letting go of EVERYTHING you have ever known yourself to be, and EVERYTHING that you've been familiar with, and EVERYTHING that provides you with comfort.

You've reached the top of your niche in the external world, and the only way to advance more is to turn your gaze profoundly and completely within, to the One Infinite Creator that sparked you into being an individual to begin with.

This is where the river of your life meets the ocean of God.

As one of my favorite quotes goes from Ra (the Law of One books):

"I am Ra. The heart of the discipline of the personality is threefold: 

One, know yourself.
Two, accept yourself.
Three, become the Creator.

The third step is that step which, when accomplished, renders one the most humble servant of all, transparent in personality and completely able to know and accept other-selves. In relation to the pursuit of the magical working the continuing discipline of the personality involves the adept in knowing itself, accepting itself, and thus clearing the path towards the great indigo gateway to the Creator. To become the Creator is to become all that there is. There is then no personality in the sense with which the adept begins its learn/teaching. As the consciousness of the indigo ray becomes more crystalline, more work may be done; more may be expressed from intelligent infinity."

You will find little to no support in the world anymore. You are bridging entirely new worlds, concepts and even modes of communication and radiance (beingness), and finally it is truly up to you to go where none has gone before.

Nobody has ever done what you are currently creating uniquely through your own crystallization into being a pure vessel for the Creator to express through. Nobody can do what you can do at this level. You have transcended any and all levels of generality within your particular niche, uniqueness and expertise. You have to write the book on what's next, as there is none yet.

For some this is entirely through being an example vibrationally, for others it is also through expressing something tangibly within this world (such as writing, art, science, etc.).

Fewer and fewer will truly understand you or even appreciate what you have to offer at this level, for they have not yet the maturity, though many will try to make you think that they do.

Since fewer and fewer will understand you as you move up the ladder of crystallization and authenticity--which is simultaneously the dissolution of the illusion of a separate, personal self--you will find that you are now required to truly stop expecting any support or understanding from your peers if you wish to go beyond your current stage, and realize that looking for encouragement from those closest to you, is still an outward focus which cannot at this stage help you.

Besides, they cannot help you get to where you're going, for they've never been there.

Only the Self, only God, only Source, only the Creator, only Intelligent Infinity can help you now. 

So turn your attention courageously away from the world of other-selves, and to the Infinite Creator within. It is here that you will be nourished, that your loneliness will be dispelled, that the need for understanding or friendship comes to an end. It is here that you will marry God.

It's not an easy gateway, if it were, more would be writing articles like this. But you are reading it, and you've made it this far into this piece of encouragement... so I am curious to see what God has in store for you, my friend, as I'm sure it's mighty beautiful.

With Infinite Love--beating as your own Heart, never separate from you,
The essence which animates Bentinho Massaro

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