The Truth About Bentinho Massaro

The Cancelling 

“Falsehood flies, and the truth comes limping after it.” 
— Jonathan Swift  

In February 2022, three of our former friends released a defamatory two-part podcast series describing my friend Bentinho Massaro as a cult leader, along with a handful of other labels like narcissist, psychopath, and misogynist with a “messiah complex.” In subsequent interviews and on social media, they have referred to him as soulless, a predator, and the devil. 

They also spent some time on me—painting me as Bentinho’s brainwashed accomplice who grooms women to sleep with him or manipulates his students into giving him money. 

They portrayed our team as a cult and said members have no agency to leave, disagree, direct our own lives, read whatever we want, or challenge the leader. They described us as gaslit, brainwashed, manipulated and confused, and said there aren’t many people strong enough to get out. 

The hosts of the podcast were ex-members of the infamous NXIVM cult. Throughout both episodes they referred frequently to their experience at NXIVM, comparing our team and Bentinho to their prior cult and its leader. The two podcast hosts had been in NXIVM for 12 years until they became whistleblowers. Theirs was an actual cult with branding, forced isolation, child sex abuse, rape, racketeering, and a cult leader now serving 120 years in jail for all of the above. This husband-wife team has hundreds of episodes exploring the world for examples of abusive cults. Because their guests are welcome to say just about anything about anybody, their podcast has this disclaimer: “Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.” 

Well, we were maligned—it was a takedown of epic proportions. 

I was alone in my room at an Airbnb listening to both episodes in horror—shifting from disbelief to sadness to anger. “That’s not how that happened,” I thought repeatedly. “That’s not true. This is seriously wrong.” 

Before I finished listening, my notifications and DMs on all platforms were flooded with hate comments. And it was far worse for Bentinho. Our three old friends were on a crusade—spreading their message all over hell’s half acre, soliciting complaints from anyone who could conjure up something bad to say about Bentinho, and posting publicly whatever they found—from fabricated horror stories to cherry-picked private messages accompanied by salacious interpretations of what was “really happening” behind the scenes. They shouted down anyone who said a kind word about Bentinho or challenged their credibility. They even went after people who had nothing to do with Bentinho but who protested their scorched earth tactics. If listeners criticized the over-the-top fingerpointing and victim signaling, they too were given a taste of the venom. Our old friends were relentless. Perhaps they still are—I stopped watching a few weeks in. 

For context, Bentinho is an international spiritual teacher known for his enlightenment and empowerment teachings. I’m one of his longtime friends and teammates, along with 20 or so other teammates who regularly work and travel together. Outside of our group is a growing community of students who participate in our online programs, in-person events, workshops, and coaching. We’ve been called a cult before—it comes with the territory—but this was a whole new level of vitriol. 

Some of my friends from home panicked. People contacted my parents and sister, warning them about how endangered I was and suggesting intervention. Different accounts and media outlets fanned the flames—picking up the story and retelling it with their own creative twists, further sensationalizing the story. I was disheartened; the whole team was at a loss for how best to respond. Did it make sense to respond at all? 

I was embarrassed and frustrated. I wished my family didn’t have to deal with drama on my behalf. I felt bad that Bentinho was fielding warped backlash despite his efforts to uplift and teach. I was also concerned—if we were legitimately hurting people in a way I didn’t understand, I wanted to know. 

To be clear, we have learned and grown from the experience. We are sorry that our accusers reflect negatively on their time with us, regardless of the facts. Our aim is always to leave people better than we found them: freer, more awake, more joyful. I recognize that suffering can arise in any number of contexts, and I don’t deny anyone’s feelings. I do however deny the public narrative that they spread. 

I was angry at my former friends for their malicious framing of events. Even where there was a thread of reality in one of their accusations, they took the most outlandish and incriminating angle they could find and hung the revised version on a scaffolding that implicated Bentinho. In each inflammatory story they excluded themselves from any responsibility, much less initiation of the events, posing as innocent, courageous whistleblowers here to take down the evildoers. I was astounded that they incorporated so little context or accountability—not to mention the rampant egregious hypocrisy in some of their stories. I’ve heard about hit pieces, but I’ve never seen it firsthand like this. I’ve never been its subject. 

Take for instance one of the accusations leveled at me: that I groom women to sleep with Bentinho. That’s an inventive stretch to say the least. For context, I had two long-term monogamous relationships over the decade I’ve been on Bentinho’s team. Between those relationships, Bentinho and I had a phase as lovers. We were never a couple and have been close (platonic) friends and teammates for years. 

Regrettably, in 2021, I invited one of his accusers to visit us. A few weeks prior, she invited me on a trip to Costa Rica with her friends. She was an Instagram connection who I had met just once in 2020 when I was visiting friends and family in Colorado. She had invited me to her friend’s house in Denver where they gave me a private Reiki massage for my birthday. She also gave me a wrapped gift with two Free People shirts and a candle—a surprisingly generous gesture from someone I had only met online.

I didn’t join her in Costa Rica, but I reciprocated by inviting her to visit me, Bentinho, and some of our teammates in Ecuador for a week. She took me up on the offer. 

At first Bentinho was hesitant to welcome someone who seemed to have no connection to our work. He suspected she might not be visiting for the right reasons and wondered if she would be able to appreciate our honest, no-frills way of interacting—so we arranged a video call with her airing our concerns. She assured us that she totally got it and was eager to visit. 

When she started pursuing Bentinho, I saw the writing on the wall. What initially felt charming soon came across as dramatic and attention-seeking, so I began to distance myself. I (and others) were vocal about wanting her to leave once the week was up. She knows this—yet to the public she insisted that I “led her to the slaughter.” Recently, her story has evolved into the claim that she was a “victim of human trafficking.” These are astonishing lies.

Whenever people falsely accuse others of serious criminal offenses like human trafficking, rape, coercion or abuse, they do real harm to those who have actually experienced these crimes or who will in the future. Their wolf-crying undermines the credibility, support and attention that real victims of abuse deserve. 

Her campaign against our team would be warranted if the accusations were true. Real corruption needs to be dismantled, and innocence needs to be protected from abusive power. But our team is not abusive. We haven’t been perfect—Bentinho agrees that his naivete about certain people caused unnecessary burdens for us and derailed some of our goals (at least on the surface, since now in retrospect we agree that this has been a fruitful education for our team). And I blame myself for overlooking early signs of incompatibility. 

How would you deal with something like that? Someone shouts that you’re brainwashed, abusive, or there’s a warrant out for your arrest, and none of it is true. Engaging adds fuel to the fire and draws more attention. Saying nothing seems like an admission. Aside from clearing things up privately, what would you do?

This is how today’s court of public opinion works: whoever can best position themselves as the victim and appeal most to the algorithm wins the sympathy of the crowd.

It’s not about truth—it’s about optics and outrage. There is no appeal process; no due diligence, just drama-hungry audiences eager to signal their virtue by condemning someone else. And if you defend yourself? That’s proof you’re guilty. Silence? Also proof you’re guilty. Despite the enormous gravity of the crimes they accused us of—no charges were filed. They didn’t go to the police. Instead, the court of social media more than met their needs. In this court, no depositions under oath are required. 

What our former friends shared in those podcasts and elsewhere wasn’t true. It wasn’t all false either—they supplemented their lies with details and moments and dynamics that I remember—however, they twisted those stories and told them in bad faith.

I now understand that in order to quiet their cognitive dissonance, they had to demonize Bentinho, even if it meant exaggerating, misleading, leaving out context, and telling flat-out lies. 

Why? Because Bentinho is, first and foremost, a teacher of awakening. He prioritized their freedom and breakthrough more than he prioritized their romantic feelings, personal hopes, or social comfort. While they embraced this idea in theory, when the rubber met the road, none prioritized learning over comfort. Instead of owning their feelings of inadequacy, heartbreak, incompetence, or failure—and using the tools and support they were offered—they shot the messenger. 

They didn’t want to deal with the challenging teachings and invitations into greater transparency they received from Bentinho and our team, so they had to decide we were the problem. Either they were wrong (something particularly hard to admit in the context of deep interpersonal work), or—the easy route—they were victims. 

They labeled us as dangerous, manipulative and evil. They sought evidence to confirm their perspective, embellished reality to fit the desired narrative, and disregarded evidence that contradicted it. They got revenge for their pain. From that perspective, I get it.

But from another perspective, the one I’m going to share in this article, what they did was defamatory—and a real dick move.

My Intention

My intention with this piece is to tell the truth as I see it and correct disinformation. I want to give everyone who didn’t believe the accusations some solid ground to stand on. I want to stand up for our work—and not only our work but this kind of easily-relegated-to-the-cult-category work in general. Most importantly, I want to make it clear that if Bentinho wasn’t an exceptional teacher and example, I wouldn’t be working with him. I want to show you what I see in Bentinho and his teachings.

Finally, I’d like to invite you to be open to revise your beliefs as you read this article. Even if you already have a strong opinion about Bentinho or our group, consider hearing me out with an open mind and permitting yourself to adjust your view as you gather more data.

As always: take it or leave it. 

How We Responded

“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are."
— Brené Brown  

After the explosion, I deactivated my social media accounts and flew to Thailand. I paused most of my work and took time away from all my usual inputs. I wanted to think, read, talk to people I didn’t know, hear new perspectives, see what I might be missing, and take some time to unpack this whole debacle. If we were really some sort of dangerous cult I was willing to see that. If I was brainwashed or under some sort of coercive influence, I wanted to know. 

My boyfriend at the time helped me navigate the situation. He wasn’t on the team but he was familiar with everyone and our work. He kept me active—dragging me to pick-up basketball and ice baths and jungle hikes—but he also continually introduced me to people who he thought could shine some light or relate to the situation. 

I had private conversations with anyone who wanted to hear my story or share theirs, and I sought out conversations with everyone who might have something to teach me. I spoke to business owners, community leaders, spiritual teachers, people who had gotten into trouble despite being careful, people who had managed to stay out of trouble despite taking risks, people who had strong opinions about how to respond, people who helped me remember that my situation is but a blip on the radar of significance in the grand scheme of things, and everyone in between. 

Meanwhile, Bentinho decided not to engage publicly. He spoke with the team, listened to everyone’s thoughts and concerns, and navigated the ordeal mostly privately. He hosted an open call for all members of his training program at the time, in which he welcomed people to ask their questions and air their concerns.

During the call he answered questions candidly and transparently, encouraging everyone to use their own discernment. Otherwise he took it in stride, not giving it much credit or attention, and remaining focused on his teachings and projects. 

Later in a text I asked Bentinho why he responded that way instead of retaliating or defending himself publicly. He said:

“An eye for an eye would have meant a defeat of our own integrity, a giving into temptation when we know better, and a loss of our honor and constitution in the teachings that we stand for. We would have sacrificed, at least to some degree, the alignment, compassion and freedom we wish for people to embody in their own hearts and actions. We would have scratched a very itchy and enduring itch, but we would have opened a wound within ourselves in the process.”

A few weeks into the barrage, I wrote the following to my family in our group chat. I have shortened it slightly and removed certain names: 

“Hey guys - just want to say sorry for any hassle or distraction you’ve had to endure related to me & Bentinho and those podcasts. I deactivated my social media for now and have been having one-on-one conversations with concerned people on the phone or in dm. 

In case anyone asks I’m super safe. Happy. Healthy. There’s no abuse happening here, by anyone. This group is incredibly supportive, honest, warm, fun, funny, lots of dirty jokes, productive, and with a high bar for transparency and learning and personal development. And Bentinho is an unconventional guy, a spiritual teacher which already looks bad to most of the world, and an odd duck in many ways, but he’s not even a little bit abusive. 

Just for your knowledge. 

I get how it looks on the outside and I know it’s not fun fielding remarks about your daughter / sister being brainwashed or in a cult. That sucks. And it’s just not even close to my experience. 

So just apologizing for however it may be affecting y’all. Letting you know the podcast was super defamatory, I and everyone here is safe (from each other at least; Bentinho has gotten some death threats) … and yeah. We’re still thinking about what’s next.”

While my parents responded with love and support, my sister’s response blew me away. It was not only a comforting reply, it was a lesson I’ll never forget about how to support someone going through something like this. With her permission I shortened her very long text, removed names, and corrected typos:

“It has been absolutely zero hassle or distraction on my end lmao. Someone reached out to me to say how WORRIED they were about you and sent me the podcasts, I looked at what they were and instantly realized there is no chance in hell I listen to those for like seven different reasons including 1) I don't care ever what someone like [redacted] has to say, especially about my sister, 2) I figured if you were actually in trouble I would hear about it through different means than an attention-seeking podcast, 3) I don't even have time to listen to the podcasts I WANT to listen to, and this one sounds like it sucks anyway and wouldn't be worth the time, 4) Just in general it felt like gossiping about people, including you, which isn't engaging and I don't want to hear about your life through other people, I'd rather just hear it from you...

I got linked to a little article about the podcasts and it actually made me laugh out loud. I am sorry but it just seemed so dumb. Hard to take seriously. They're posting Instagram pics with Bentinho’s face crossed out hahahahahahahahaha idk dude it's 7th grade vibes. I think people who have a problem they want taken seriously go to lawyers and/or handle their problems directly and spend their own time and resources to bring justice where they feel it is due. People who want attention go to social media and team up to get “likes” and feel justified and feel like they're really doing something important. The whole thing feels manufactured for Instagram. 

I called you the other day Cory right after I got sent the podcasts and article. I was gonna say "Hey, on a scale of 0-10 how much garbage is this?” and if you said anywhere north of 6 I’d know nothing serious is going on and I don't ever have to think about it again lol. I think this whole thing feels manufactured, I think you and Bentinho and the group are great, I am sure there is more to the story on all sides, and I have zero interest ever in hearing about you behind your back or listening to people talk poorly about ya.

If ANYBODY is gonna talk shit about you............it's gonna be me, and it's gonna be right to your face lmfao.”

Every time I re-read this message I tear up. I was struggling at that point and her perspective lifted a burden. I remember how that felt. I don’t know if there’s any greater gift than better perspectives—I don’t know if anything makes me more grateful. I’ll always appreciate this as a moment where she helped me swap my stress for humor and confidence. I will seize future opportunities to pass it forward. 

My sister’s message helped me shake off some of the seriousness of the barrage. But even during the worst of it I remember appreciating how emotionally and mentally stable I felt. I knew I was ultimately fine, that everything passes, and that what I am can never be harmed no matter what kind of beating my reputation takes. I knew the same was true of our whole team. We can weather storms.

I knew I could get through hard things, and that adversity handled well would lead to growth. I knew all of us were going to learn things we would have never been able to learn without a catalyst like this. We were being cornered into a growth spurt. And I knew I would become more compassionate, free, and self-aware as a result of this whole mess. For that I was grateful. 

And that’s kind of the point. Thanks to the interpersonal work I have been doing with Bentinho and our team for years, I am resilient, I can keep my spine straight and my heart open through a crisis, and I have conviction in my own timeless freedom—an absolute perspective—which has made me more confident and steadily joyful no matter what I experience. 

Plus, every meaningful route has a cost. I have come to accept that the cost of doing this kind of life-changing, transcendent work is that it triggers some people. The cost of following a brilliant but disruptive spiritual teacher is getting called a cult sometimes. And the cost of pursuing and spreading awakening is occasional skepticism and ridicule. 

I prefer those costs to the cost of living my life to appease the concerns of the public and dying unfulfilled.

If There’s No Fire, Why Such Smoke?

“Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.”
—Bertrand Russell

I won't flat out dismiss everything our accusers said or unconditionally defend Bentinho and our team. Plus, I’m happy to admit my bias: I trust Bentinho and I believe in the work we do. But we have made mistakes. We have been naive and short-sighted. When our former friends described their difficulty being around us, I could relate. I’ve felt it too. We have fun most of the time—but I’ve been triggered, offended and rattled plenty over the last 10 years on this team. 

What we do is hard. It’s also fulfilling and joyful. But no one on a genuine awakening trajectory would deny that it can be challenging. We value emotional resilience and honesty, and we do not coddle or artificially shield each other from feedback or discomfort. Our work is about inner-excavation, personal responsibility, self-mastery, and constant learning. We uproot dishonesty, address hidden agendas, confront selfishness, and face the ego (the persona that has been conditioned by society) directly. We don’t indulge most of the social manipulation, inauthenticity, and desperate seeking for external validation that drives the actions of most people on a daily basis. 

Bentinho leaves an enormous trail of positively impacted people. But there will always be the offended or confused person in his wake, too. Even if he went celibate, stopped smoking cigars, wore sackcloth robes, and never spent another dollar, some people would still be outraged by him. This is not because of cult tendencies. It’s because of the nature of this type of work and what it demands of people: it’s enriching, fun, enlightening… and confronting. And it should be. It wouldn’t be the real deal if it was always easy.

Use Discernment When Choosing a Teacher

Side note: I want to be careful with an expression like “it wouldn’t be the real deal if it was easy.” This doesn’t apply to everything and it requires discernment. I am sensitive about amateur spiritual teachers, community leaders, or ambitious egos of any sort taking this sentiment to justify whatever unreasonable demands they put on other people around them. Just because someone has a following, seems confident, has had awakening experiences in the past, or seems qualified, does not entitle them to be your teacher. Take your time with that choice. 

Bentinho has earned my respect and loyalty after years of questioning, skepticism, testing, and seeing for myself whether his leadership can take me where I want to go. I encourage you to do the same. Take a critical, discerning attitude toward any teacher or guide you consider working with.

So how can you differentiate a good (and unconventional) spiritual teacher who challenges you, from a teacher who is actually abusive? What is the difference between legitimate challenges of self-growth versus coercion? 

First and most importantly, you must know and feel that your journey is up to you. You don’t need any teacher if you don’t want one. You can stop whenever you want. People who feel obligated to pursue a specific path set themselves up for failure. You don’t have to run a marathon—but if you are intrinsically motivated to break through your mental and physical limits by running one, and if you hire a coach to guide you, you will certainly be challenged. As long as you know you can quit or hire a different coach whenever you want, you will have an empowered foundation from which to build. 

From here, ask yourself: 

Do they practice what they teach? Do their methods and teachings lead to genuine transformation, wisdom, and freedom in their students? Check for yourself over time or observe their long-term students—are they healthy, happy, and steadily improving? Does the teacher encourage critical thinking, discernment, and personal responsibility, or do they expect blind obedience and submission? Do they welcome questions and disagreement, or do they silence dissent? Do they push you for your benefit, to help you break through egoic limitations, or do they push you for their own gain, to have power over you? 

Mesh Hewawasam, our teammate, wrote the following in a longer essay: 

“The true teachers of spirituality will always bring you back to your Self—to your own power, your own guidance and your own purpose. They will guide you TOWARD inclusion, love and expansion instead of guiding/manipulating you or your emotions to be against someone or something else. There's a subtle but important distinction here. With that in mind, be aware of any persons or teachings that bring about messages of ‘us versus them,’ or come with flavors of personal activism. Beware of messages that try to invoke feelings of anger, or wrongness, hatred, fear, or blame. Beware of Instagram influencers who may speak of the spiritual path as if they know it well, but now go on rampages to prove personal points to others.”

Be thorough when assessing your potential teacher. If their methods simply don’t work for you and you’re not aligned with their teachings, or if you feel steadily more confused and insecure, or if you’re not inspired by where they lead… perhaps that’s not your teacher. Permit yourself to move along. But if you just find them uncomfortable, unfamiliar, or challenging, perhaps that’s a good thing. 

In The Way of Integrity by Martha Beck—one of my favorite books and authors—she explains this tension with references to Dante’s Inferno: 

“Soul teachers don’t share our culture’s values. What? Not share our values? Aren’t we supposed to spend our lives looking for teachers who do share our values? Not when we’re in the dark wood of error. Remember, cultural value systems play a central role in leading us off our true paths and sending us up all those versions of Mount Delectable. Following cultural values, we exhaust ourselves chasing things that will never make us genuinely happy. To lead us away from such errors, soul teachers must be free from our particular brand of cultural delusion.”

In the West, we don’t have much precedent for this kind of guidance. I grew up in the US—most of us have never met someone with a real, long-term spiritual teacher. To us that would seem weird or cultish. Throughout history however, teacher-student relationships have been common and crucial components of spiritual growth. In Tibetan Buddhism, non-dual Hinduism, Sufism, Daoism, Kabbalah, Ancient Greece, some Christianity, and many shamanic or indigenous lineages, the relationship between gurus, masters, or elders and their initiates, disciples, or apprentices is often seen as the primary means of transmission of wisdom and transformation. We modern-day Westerners are an exception. 

I share this to invite you to look at your own conditioning around spiritual teachers and teacher-student relationships. It is easy to see them through the lens of manipulation and control because we’ve heard so many cult horror stories, but let’s not throw the baby out with the bathwater. If you’re sincerely seeking enlightenment or wisdom, perhaps consider that the spiritual lineages throughout history knew something we have lost. 

What Makes This Work Hard? 

Isn’t spirituality about mindfulness and equanimity and accepting yourself exactly as you are? Isn’t it more effective to be gentle, affirming, tolerant, and inclusive of all expressions? Shouldn’t a spiritual path be a relaxing respite from the world of hard work, discipline, and growing in the face of adversity? 

That depends on what you mean by “spirituality.” The word is widely used to mean different, often contradictory things. Some consider themselves “spiritual” who chant and pray to deities. Others who go to ecstatic dance festivals or ayahuasca ceremonies; others who routinely attend church on Sundays; others who charge their crystals in the moonlight and commune with their spirit guides; others who insist on “good vibes only” and daily positive affirmations. The scope is broad. 

But none of that is necessarily at the heart of spirituality as we see it. In fact, Bentinho has talked about the way stereotypically spiritual lifestyles and idiosyncrasies give true spirituality a bad rap and scare genuine seekers away.

True spirituality—what Bentinho teaches and the heart of our community—is based fundamentally on Self-realization, or enlightenment. Self-realization is the recognition of what we are in essence; the true Self beyond the mind, body, feelings, and labels. 

Certain masters and lineages, including the prophets of most religions, guided their followers toward realization of the Self. Dzogchen Buddhism, Advaita-Vedanta, and Jnana Yoga are some better-known examples of ancient enlightenment streams. Here are quotes from two such sages:

“We think we live in a real, materially-substantial world, and that our minds and bodies are real entities that move around in it. When the Self is seen and known, all these false ideas fade away and one is left with the knowledge: Self alone exists.” 

— Sri Annamalai Swami

“Within the prison of your world appears a man who tells you that the world of painful contradictions, which you have created, is neither continuous nor permanent and is based on a misapprehension. He pleads with you to get out of it, by the same way by which you got into it. You got into it by forgetting what you are and you will get out of it by knowing yourself as you are.” 

— Nisargadatta Maharaj

Self-Realization is made possible by two essential pursuits: knowing what you truly are, and disentangling from what you are not.

This latter movement is usually where things get tricky. Finding and disidentifying with what isn’t you can be scary or confronting. It means isolating some tried-and-true aspect of your identity and discovering that it’s actually a programmed tactic you use to get safety or validation or to avoid suffering—it’s not you. Letting go of our attachment to these patterns can be surprisingly confronting as it often surfaces the thing it was in place to protect—like shame, fear, or insecurity. But as you release those aspects, you will stabilize more and more in your innate natural freedom. 

This work is not just a placeholder until a student is ready for Self-realization. It is an integral part of the path; an inevitable education along the way. Becoming free and authentic is part of the awakening process. Our work is about moving ourselves along the spectrum from separation, dishonesty, manipulation, drama, validation-seeking, immaturity, and a victim mentality… toward generosity, maturity, wisdom, transparency, love, and ultimately Self-realization. In other words, it’s about identifying less with our ego and identifying more with our True (or unconditioned) Self. 

This adds to the challenge of being around us. For everyone blind to their selfish ego patterns (that’s just about everyone), this work will seem intimidating or confronting whenever their ego strategies are active. 

What’s more, this whole endeavor is counter-cultural. Following a spiritual teacher, embarking on an awakening journey, being part of a community based on enlightenment, telling hard truths, releasing attachments, taking responsibility—none of this is mainstream or seen as particularly normal. All of us have faced some degree of disapproval or mockery for dedicating our lives to a pursuit like this. 

But for those of us who recognize the benefits of this work—who have seen the changes in ourselves and each other; who now bear the fruits of having spent years holding each other to higher standards of clarity, integrity and alignment—what we have here is a breath of fresh air. It’s real and rare. 

But when people are attracted to Bentinho or our community for more superficial reasons, or if this path simply isn’t for them, their experience with us can be a flop. People who aren’t serious students of Self-realization or awakening will struggle. If they aren’t on the same mission to awaken to their true nature and root out conditioned defenses and self-validating behaviors, being with us in person can feel like a confronting barrage of social and psychological challenges. Not due to their inherent shortcomings, but because this work demands a level of internal honesty and resilience that’s not for everyone.

We expect everyone who works with us to already have a foundation of mental stability. When they don’t, they are likely to project their discomfort onto us. If we were to cater to their needs for comfort and validation, we would have to artificially lower the standard for everyone else—something we prefer not to do. That’s why we regularly encourage people not to join our programs and events. I remember Bentinho saying, “Don’t participate if you think this is cool. We aren’t cool.” 

Like any legitimate transformative work, what we do can activate old wounds, bring up the stuff we spend our lives trying to avoid, and cause us to face our ugliest parts. If you’re not here because deep growth is your top priority for real, you run the risk of being challenged in a way you won’t tolerate. Our suggestion to everyone on the fence is: Don’t come. Be honest with yourself and don’t seek this out until you’re ready. Do therapy or a different, gentler type of processing instead. Otherwise, you’ll hit a pain point when we treat you with the honesty and candor we expect from one another, and instead of persisting through the work, you’ll reject whatever caused your pain. Suddenly, the group that you were so intent on joining is now “abusive” or a “cult.”

Until recently, when people like our accusers would seek us out, pursue proximity with Bentinho and our team, insist on their readiness, demonstrate appreciation for our work, and take on responsibility for tasks and projects; we would take their word for it. We would invite them closer and begin to treat them the way we treat each other—with loving but unwavering directness and a high standard for transparency. This has been our mistake; our learning curve.

A few years ago, we weren’t yet discerning about who was here because they were sincere in their desire to study alongside us versus who was here out of mere curiosity or personal gratification. We told everyone some version of what I’m summarizing here, but many were eager to climb on board without accurately assessing (or conveying) their readiness.

I have empathy for our former friends, but that doesn’t make their accusations true. Our biggest lesson has been to upgrade our screening process and filter out aspiring teammates who are ill-equipped to confront their own egos sooner than later. As a result, our team now is more mature than ever.

So if there’s no fire, why such smoke? I’ll give you my opinion: Our accusers threw a smoke grenade. 

Why would they say all those things if they weren’t true? Hello—why do people do that all the time? Why do people write 1-star reviews about good restaurants when their food was fine? Have you ever talked trash or exaggerated about an ex? How many times have you heard people describe their neighbors or coworkers as toxic or psychotic? Why does bad news sell? Why do gossip magazines do so well? What do you make of innocent people like Amanda Knox or Johnny Depp who dealt with enormous public scandals?

Everyone agrees that you can’t believe everything you read or see online—right? We acknowledge that there is no shortage of bogus, sensationalist, click-bait stories going viral every day because they excite or enrage or polarize us. These are examples of smoke grenades. They are ubiquitous. 

From insignificant details to major allegations, our accusers’ stories are jam-packed with contradictions, hypocrisies, and lies. They said there is a warrant out for Bentinho’s arrest. There isn’t. They said we had to be in 117º heat for 12 hours a day. We didn’t. They called Bentinho a rapist. Unambiguous slander. They said we can’t leave. Leave where? I’m writing this from thousands of miles away from Bentinho or any other teammates. We go wherever we want. They said Bentinho keeps us away from friends and family. I spend months visiting my family and friends every year, and they visit me, attend retreats, and know my teammates. 

Our accusers said his teachings are harmful (and in the next breath they said they never understood his teachings). They said they “weren’t allowed to” or “had to” do specific things. Nope. 

The list is long. Every one of their accusations is contorted. In many cases, they blame Bentinho for things they spearheaded. To debunk or correct their hundreds of falsehoods would be quite the project. 

Bentinho looks like a finance bro and talks like a guru. It’s hard for people to see that, despite his slick blonde hair, tailored suits, brashness and often inscrutable phrasing, what he’s up to is actually… generous. It seems counterintuitive that he would be working to uplift and unify people; to free them from suffering and remind them of their innate freedom. Most can’t see (or won’t accept) that if they listened to him and got the heart of his message, their lives would change for the better. Mine has. Thousands around the world say the same. 

The human mind has a self-sabotaging mechanism within (you’ve heard it described as the ego, the inner critic, the gremlin, or in religious contexts, the devil or demons)—it’s the fearful part that works to keep us separate, inactive, insecure, angry, or lost—all under the guise of comfort and safety. This saboteur instinctively senses that if we truly got teachings like these, it would be out of a job. If we began to live in alignment with our hearts, innermost wisdom, or God, we wouldn’t so easily fall for the saboteur’s promises and tricks. However, most of us still believe this inner-saboteur—the ego—is who we actually are. So instead of working to debunk it by pursuing awakening teachings, we defend the saboteur and judge, fear or blame whatever tries to usurp it. 

That’s what causes the smoke that surrounds Bentinho. Well, that and his cigars.

Vibrational Intelligence

“Argue for your limitations and you get to keep them.”
— Elizabeth Gilbert

Buckle up, I’m going to start using some spiritual language. Let’s start with what I’ll call “vibrational intelligence.”

Vibrational intelligence is the ability to discern alignment from misalignment; or constructive interpretations from destructive interpretations; or useful, intuitive guidance from thoughts that come from your self-saboteur or ego (thoughts rooted in fear, separation, insecurity, and lack). 

Vibrational intelligence is your ability to detect and follow what resonates with your True Self (your heart, intuition, soul, inner wisdom, Source, God, Higher Self, whatever you want to call it)—not what makes you feel righteous, comfortable or superior—but what resonates. 

When I say “True Self” see if you can get what I mean, even if the wording doesn’t appeal or make perfect sense to you. Internal Family Systems and Jungian psychology refer to it as the “Self.” Some non-dual teachings refer to it as “Atman” or the “One.” A Course in Miracles calls it the “Christ Self” and Buddhists call it your “Buddha Nature” or “True Nature.” From here on out I’ll call it your True Self. Think of your True Self as your innermost essential pure presence. The ego-free you. The you without any strategy, fear, insecurity, or sense of separation. Free, loving, confident, wise, and one with life. You could say it’s the “God within.” Or if you prefer, replace it with “heart” or “soul” or “inner wisdom” or another option that works better for you.

It can be helpful to think of your True Self like a clear and steady musical note, and to think of your own mind and attention as a tuning fork. When you harmonize your tuning fork with the musical note of your True Self, there is an experience of resonance; of hitting a “home frequency,” or a coherent vibration. Choices, thoughts, and experiences that are in harmony with your True Self will resonate in a way that the ordinary pleasure of satisfying your ego does not. When you act on those resonant choices or think those resonant thoughts, you will feel in alignment with your True Self. If you make a habit out of it, you will notice a positive, harmonious energy permeating your life. You will hear that coherent sound in the form of your own direct experience of alignment, confidence, love and wholeness. You will feel in integrity; you’ll feel like yourself.

You already experience this mechanism, even if you don’t fully understand it. The mechanics apply to everyone—when you live your life in integrity with who you really are at the core, you feel energized, resilient, open, aligned, and free. When you don’t—when you avoid, complain, judge, lie, cheat, manipulate, ruminate, and pass blame—you suffer. 

Negative thoughts, anxiety, fear, aggression, blame, insecurity, and complacency are obviously less constructive, and less resonant with your True Self. So to follow them and perpetuate them is less (vibrationally) intelligent. 

On the other hand, love, courage, honesty, responsibility, confidence, generosity, and humility are more constructive, and more resonant with your True Self. So to follow them and perpetuate them is more vibrationally intelligent. In Richard Schwartz’ popular Internal Family Systems framework, for example, the Self is characterized by the 8 C’s: Confidence, Clarity, Curiosity, Creativity, Courage, Calm, Connection, and Compassion.

This shouldn’t be new—most spiritual teachings and even most self-help books say something along these lines. It’s not a complex idea that how you curate your attention and thinking will shape your life. 

Vibrational intelligence is your ability to respond from and access more resonant and constructive perspectives and states. It is not about faking confidence, suppressing negative emotions, “spiritual bypassing,” or acting happy when you’re sad. That’s bogus. On the contrary, part of vibrational intelligence is dealing with whatever thought or dynamic is preventing alignment—even when that means having hard conversations or facing something uncomfortable. 

To reiterate: we do not condone ignoring your negative feelings and being delusional about some big happy unicorn world—but we also don’t endorse the other extreme of becoming trapped in endless processing of negative feelings and experiences. 

For example: say in your heart you know you want to connect more deeply and authentically with a certain person, but you are afraid of genuine connection and the risk of being rejected. 

In this situation, your True Self wants to connect, but your conditioned self (or ego) wants you to avoid the risk and stay disconnected. If you finally decide to have a sober, undistracted, honest face-to-face conversation with the person of interest, your saboteur would panic. It would try everything to convince you not to stay put: “Get the heck out of here. I don’t need this. My stomach hurts. I have work to do. I’m not ready for this. Why am I doing this again? Why don’t I just order a drink? This is a waste of my time. Maybe this person is a narcissist…” 

The saboteur’s thoughts can spiral out of control, hijack your mind, and derail your True Self’s original intention. And here’s what makes it especially tricky: if you follow any of the saboteur’s suggestions, like just ordering a drink or ending the connection, you may feel a surge of something that feels like joy or empowerment. 

But it’s not—it’s the dopamine hit that accompanies many self-destructive coping mechanisms. Whether it’s shopping, indulging in ice cream, or avoiding imminent discomfort, these behaviors are neurochemically rewarded in the moment.

That boost of the ego’s relief is hard to distinguish from the genuine empowerment that comes from living in alignment with your True Self (which involves expanding beyond your comfort zone and your ego’s control). As you become more vibrationally intelligent, you will get better at knowing the difference between following the self-preserving impulses of your ego for quick hits of relief, and staying aligned with your True Self. 

This is one way to understand what we do. The work of becoming vibrationally intelligent—discerning resonance and merit from distraction and ego, and living our lives accordingly—is part of what Bentinho teaches. We talk about it in different ways and approach it from different angles (living true, being sourceful, awakening, Self-realization, Self-actualization, etc.), but in a nutshell, this is our work. 

A Culture of Honesty 

We don’t sit around doing “distortion readings” or declaring “gotcha” when someone’s gremlin has taken the wheel. We work together in exceptional harmony most of the time. Our group is funny, openhearted, and deeply connected without being sappy. I love being with them. And not because I have “Stockholm Syndrome”—another fun accusation—but because vibrationally intelligent people are wonderful and hard to come by. Being in a group of kind, competent people who share a love for learning, sharing, and living in alignment with their True Selves is a kind of homecoming I wish for everyone. 

Most people gossip, stuff things down, avoid confrontation, deny their concerns, and build closed loops that insulate them from connection, learning, or alternative perspectives. On our team we tend to air things out quickly, bring conflict and friction out into the open and address things on the spot. We don’t do these things because we’re obligated or because there’s some sort of rule—but because we value honesty and harmony, and handling conflict proactively is a natural expression of those values.

When I began to spend time with Bentinho I was frequently filled with gratitude for his courage and compassion in socially tricky contexts. I loved his political incorrectness, his lightheartedness, and his willingness to have excruciatingly disagreeable conversations when necessary. It felt—finally—safe. Like actually safe. Not the kind of “safe space” that means “walk on eggshells so nobody gets offended”—but the actual safety that is created by courage. The kind that feels like humor, uninhibited honesty, trust, and real friendship. 

Plus, it’s impossible to gossip with Bentinho. He won’t indulge. Even if I tried, he would just look for the solution. In fact, that’s why I’m comfortable bringing social problems to him quickly—I know from a decade of watching him navigate complex dynamics that he’s trustworthy and he prioritizes the best case scenario for everyone. When I bring him a mess, he cleans it up, improves my perspective, and leaves healing, harmony, and clarity in his wake. This leadership sets the standard for the rest of us on the team. 

The deep friendships and trust that result from dealing directly with social conflict outweighs the very human and nearly irresistible urge to gossip and create cliques. These latter tendencies were part of the disruptive behaviors that made it clear our accusers could not stay with our group. 

We don’t push people into unnecessary stress—we just have a culture of facing whatever arises head-on. You can either fight, run, deny, play dumb, shut down, find other faultfinders to commiserate with… or own up. Drop your guard, show your cards, and lean in. Instead of defending yourself from your friends, you can team up with them against your ego so they can show you what you haven’t been willing to see. When you stop protecting yourself, they can begin to reflect back to you an aspect of your havoc-wreaking saboteur that’s been derailing your life. This is a gift; it’s a sign of true friendship and camaraderie. When you shift your allegiance from your ego—a saboteur—to your True Self, you’ll be immediately grateful to your friends for calling you out and staying the course despite your initial defenses. I have come to respect and treasure the friends who can face down my ego when it’s active; those who advocate for my alignment with my True Self, even when I’m resistant. 

I get that legitimately abusive people or groups might co-opt a teaching like this. If a friend for instance compulsively lies to you and then tells you to take responsibility and be resilient instead of blaming her, that is a perversion of this work. Don’t put up with that. Less vibrationally intelligent people are more susceptible to using and falling for that kind of manipulation, and as they wise up, they become less deceptive AND less gullible.

So if there is abuse, the choice is obvious: leave. Consider seeking legal counsel and pressing charges. Otherwise, if what you signed up for is just challenging or emotionally uncomfortable, you could try being a little more durable. And if you don’t want to be more durable or if this type of growth isn’t for you, all good—but admit that. Own your choice to move along instead of blaming and condemning the thing that challenged you. 

Are We a Cult? 

"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man."
— George Bernard Shaw

I know how it looks. We are an exclusive, tight-knit team who often works and travels together and is oriented around a series of enlightenment teachings, led by a dynamic, unpredictable spiritual teacher. We have a mission to help ignite global awakening and serve humanity. If you want to paste the “cult” label on us, we make it pretty easy.

One of the most telling markers of a cult is the erosion of individual choice and free agency—something we’ve gone to great lengths to protect and honor. But because our team can look from the outside like a stereotypical cult, I wanted to take a closer look.

I found all kinds of great studies and papers about what makes a cult a cult, brainwashing, narcissism, and the evolutionary advantages of playing victim. I read books like The Guru Drinks Bourbon?, Stranger in a Strange Land, and The Anxious Generation—all of which gave me new insight and better understanding of ourselves and our accusers. 

I wanted to understand the cult topic in general. I downloaded cult resource PDFs from support websites, and read about the warning signs and various forms of control. I watched both seasons of The Vow. I watched Wild Wild Country. I watched Jonestown. The more I learned, the more clearly I saw that we’re not a cult. In fact, we’re more like a preventive discipline for the types of mindsets and personalities that lead to cults. 

I reviewed Steven Hassan’s BITE model which outlines four quadrants of authoritarian control common in cults: Behavior Control, Information Control, Thought Control, and Emotional Control. Several of Bentinho’s critics have referenced this model so I gave it a thorough examination. 

In the first quadrant, Hassan delineates examples of behavioral control, like controlling clothing and hairstyles, regulating diet, manipulation of sleep, and restricting leisure and vacation time. The list also mentions more severe examples of behavior control like instilling dependency and obedience, torture, imprisonment, threatening to harm family and friends, and so on. None of those things even remotely apply to us. 

Bentinho has been accused of regulating diet and manipulating sleep. But that’s an asinine interpretation of what he does. Bentinho encourages us to eat well and take care of our bodies. Lately he’s into the Ketogenic / carnivore diet, and he likes sharing what he learns. People take it or leave it and follow what’s best for them.

When Bentinho decides to pursue some new initiative, he proceeds with extreme dedication until he has learned everything he wants to learn. He devotes himself wholeheartedly—even compulsively—to whatever pursuit he finds most relevant. He almost always invites his friends to join the learning process, sharing the best of what he’s studying so we can try it too. Sometimes he will create a group chat for information exchange on the topic and initiate a trial period where everyone interested explores together, sharing what works and what doesn’t, but he never insists.

Does he manipulate our sleep? No. Bentinho is a night owl and he often likes socializing late at night with whoever is around. Other night owls may join him for late hangouts or games, and sometimes those of us who like our early bedtimes make an exception to join the fun. 

One of Bentinho’s cornerstone teachings is that we must honor each other’s free will. To breach the free will of another is not only harmful to them, it is perhaps even more damaging to your own spiritual evolution. This is not something he takes lightly, as he sees it as something with karmic implications. Participation in our work is always voluntary. If ever Bentinho instructs, requests, or suggests something, he is meticulous about refraining from coercion or any breach of free will.

This doesn’t mean he won’t occasionally set very clear expectations and hold people accountable—but that’s leadership, not authoritarian compulsion. 

If some people choose to eat the way Bentinho eats or to stay up late to join in the evening activities, that’s up to them. Bentinho counts on us to be responsible for ourselves, do what we need, say what’s on our mind, and make choices we stand by, even if they seem to go against other teammates, including him. He makes it clear that it is everyone’s duty to remain confident, authentic and true to themselves; that disempowerment is selfish because it deprives the team of an individual’s unique input; and that people-pleasing and groupthink are contradictory to what he teaches and what we stand for. 

In the “Thought Control” quadrant, Hassan lists items like “Encouraging only ‘good and proper’ thoughts,” and “Teaching thought-stopping techniques which shut down reality testing by stopping negative thoughts and allowing only positive thoughts,” and the rejection of “rational analysis, critical thinking, and constructive criticism.” Since Bentinho has been accused of brainwashing his followers, I’ll unpack this one.

I’ve already explained that we value rational analysis, critical thinking, and constructive criticism, but let me expand on that.

Bentinho encourages alignment with your True Self. When you are in alignment with your True Self, you will be in a state of balanced contentment, and as a result, you will have mostly positive, constructive, confident, and useful thoughts and feelings. When people are out of alignment with their True Self, Bentinho or one of us will usually surface that. We address each other’s misalignment usually by checking in, sending a text, seeing what they need, offering support, providing feedback, or in the rare case of a stubborn ego—like if someone is consistently negative or avoidant—we may initiate a conversation to help them out of their rut. Our goal is never to discourage “improper” thoughts—(what even is an improper thought?)—our intention is to support each other to be free from destructive patterns, confident, firing on all cylinders, and progressing toward their goals. People are more able to think clearly and rationally if they are not in a threat state created by unresolved conflict and competition. 

I thought it was interesting that Hassan highlighted “teaching thought-stopping techniques” as a symptom of cults because, well, it sounds like it was written by someone who has never left the confines of their thoughts. 

I see the concern—if a crowd is lost in their own hypnotic chanting or speaking in tongues, they might be more susceptible to groupthink and other odd behavior. But I think it is important to mention that quieting thoughts is not inherently dangerous and is at the very heart of many forms of meditation. 

It brings to mind a quote by Valmiki, author of The Yoga Vasistha and The Ramayana (two ancient Indian texts), about the mind: 

“Victory over this goblin known as mind is gained when with the aid of one’s own self-effort one attains Self-knowledge and abandons the craving for what the mind desires as pleasure.”

Or this quote from Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now: 

“The beginning of freedom is the realization that you are not the thinker. The moment you start watching the thinker, a higher level of consciousness becomes activated. You then begin to realize that there is a vast realm of intelligence beyond thought, that thought is only a tiny aspect of that intelligence. You also realize that all the things that truly matter—beauty, love, creativity, joy, inner peace—arise from beyond the mind. You begin to awaken.”

In genuine enlightenment teachings, if you desire some degree of self-transcendence and awakening to your true nature, you will have to be prepared and willing to move beyond the mind (and its incessant stream of thoughts) as the center of your identity. Certain thought-stopping (or more accurately: thought-transcending) techniques, like bringing awareness to awareness itself, or relaxing all mental activity and resting in the now moment, are supportive to this often gradual shift. 

For anyone pursuing Self-realization, you will at some point realize that you are not your mind. You will recognize the source of thoughts—the nature of the mind—instead of being caught up in the thoughts themselves. For many this will be a memorable epiphany. Plus, it leads to better discernment between which thoughts are aligned and which are delusional projections that can steer you off course.

Bentinho is unique among enlightenment teachers in that he does not teach students to eradicate or silence the mind; he does not suggest that thoughts are the enemy—but rather that it’s possible to use the mind and intellect as tools to transcend the cacophony of thought in a balanced way. 

With examination it’s clear the “cult” label doesn’t fit our team or Bentinho. However, the label certainly served our accusers’ purpose to get attention on social media. 

* * *

When I first met Bentinho, I recognized something subtle, intelligent, and real. He was teaching something I wanted to learn, and he exemplified that teaching. I wasn’t looking for a community, proximity to a spiritual teacher, or relief from any sort of suffering. What was it that I was seeking? 

It was 10 years ago that I was standing in the back of a room at a free public talk in Boulder. What I recognized in this 26-year-old guy was something I had heard others talk about and point to, but I hadn’t seen anyone embody it the way he did.

It was sober, honest, and direct. He spoke calmly and joyfully, stream-of-consciousness, from a state in which I’d never seen someone speak. He was passionate and bright—not hyper or performative—and his goal was to spark in his listeners an awakening to what he had realized.

His state is what the people on our team recognized in Bentinho and it’s what drew us together. It’s the same thing written about in the Bhagavad Gita, the Yoga Sutras, the Tao Te Ching, the Upanishads, etc: Self-realization, or enlightenment. Enlightenment is what Bentinho pursued with his usual obsessive passion for years, it’s what he found, and it’s what he teaches. 

If you want to hear more about how I met Bentinho and what my discernment process was like during that chapter, you can watch or listen to my podcast episode called How I Met My Teacher.  

I asked several members of Massaro University what they thought about the cult question and I loved their answers. One student, Simone, said: 

“If you want to know if the tree is healthy, go and look at the fruit. This community is the fruit. Look at these people. Based on the work that is done here, you will for sure realize that the tree is healthy, the roots are strong, and the people are aligned in themselves. We are the evidence of a healthy tree. This is like a law for me. If you asked everyone in this community why they are here, the answer on average would be something like ‘I’m here to fulfill my calling and to contribute in my unique way to the peace and harmony of our planet.’ I honestly think the people here are the living answer to that question.”

Another, Pamela, said:

“This is the opposite of a cult. The public perception would see the first five search results and think ‘Oh shit, a cult’ and if that were true, that would be scary. But this is only for people who want to be here. The hallmark of a cult is when the leader says ‘Come and stay and do what I say.’ Here it’s ‘Only be here if it is your own personal burning desire to be here. Please don’t be here if not.’ We are literally being trained to tune into our own information; our own higher selves, our own direct access to source, not to follow the leader or do what others say. Of course there is some nuance—when you don’t see your own BS it helps to trust the people around you, and you can use them to help you see what you may be missing. But the goal is our ultimate freedom and we are being trained to develop our own direct access to our own guidance. So it’s the opposite of a cult.”

To summarize my “are we a cult?” findings, we’re not. On the contrary, think of Bentinho’s teachings as an inoculation against cult vulnerability. The more that people understand and practice teachings like these, the less susceptible they become to cultlike ideas and groups. 

Putting Myself in Their Shoes

“When you understand, you cannot help but love.”
— Thích Nhất Hạnh 

Each of our former friends left on the heels of a particularly confronting phase. In all cases, we became aware of behavioral patterns that undermined others or pitted one team member against others. We intervened and invited them to acknowledge a layer of their self-saboteur’s manipulative strategies, and to move toward more honesty and humility. 

I already described how difficult these confrontations can be. A calm, matter-of-fact conversation can feel downright overwhelming for the ego being exposed. Since almost everyone believes that they ARE their egos, this sort of precise, unwavering feedback can feel like an existential threat. 

I’ve had my own fair share of those confrontations, and I’ve been tempted to double down on my position, hold up my middle finger to Bentinho and the team, and reject them all indefinitely. In fact, the thought crossed my mind more than a couple times. “Why am I putting myself through this? I don’t need this sh*t!”

In the moment that my defensive or divisive behavior is challenged, it would be a relief to walk away. The alternative is daunting: To take a deep breath, trust my teacher and my friends, and voluntarily face my own pernicious (or at least misaligned) behavior. My reactivity is not proof of someone else’s wrongdoing. 

Examples could be putting others down in order to elevate myself, playing the victim to garner sympathy, or scrambling for social validation. Dropping my guard and receiving feedback means acknowledging that I was out of integrity. It could mean apologizing. It would certainly mean grappling with the discomfort of having been wrong, and the need to get back into the gym of ongoing inner excavation, transparency, and learning—something egos detest. 

For the record, after a breakthrough—when my heart has been blown open by clear seeing—I always feel awe and gratitude. I laugh about how painful my ego convinced me it would be. From more enlightened perspectives, there is nothing hard about this work. It’s simple, joyful, and effective. It is only from the saboteur’s perspective—which fears being replaced with a clearer perspective—that a breakthrough seems so threatening. 

If I left my team and friends and the exacting guidance of Bentinho, I could ease into the comfort zone of consumerism, cliques, virtue-signaling, and curating a social media image of perfection. All of this indulgence would be uninterrupted by the constant invitation to see my counterproductive habits and align my life with my True Self. 

Furthermore, if I left and chose to condemn them all as dangerous cultists on the way out, I’d be called “brave!” My cult-survivor story would be an attention-magnet. I would be supported by a cultural majority who think spiritual teachers are suspect. I’d get invited to speak on cult-survivor podcasts where my story would be transformed from one of awakening to one of exploitation. I’d be validated and elevated by a whole new crowd, who I could funnel into my paid online programs where I’d profit off my new victim story (something at least one of our accusers has done). Instead of remembering my breakthroughs with awe and gratitude, I’d reframe them as delusional highs. People would call me courageous, the media would pick up my story, and it would become part of my identity. 

I get it. The problem is that it isn’t true. 

The urge for acceptance and belonging and, ostensibly, transformation, motivated our accusers to seek out Bentinho and our team. It became clear that they were incompatible with all of us and our goals. But rather than moving along in pursuit of other avenues of spiritual development (or taking responsibility and working it out with us), they created new, sensational identities condemning Bentinho. This provided them with a winning solution to explain how their public commitment to our team abruptly ended. 

I don’t know whether their smear campaign was a retaliation for the sting of not getting what they wanted, a quick fix for the cognitive dissonance of friction with the people they eagerly sought out and embraced, or simply a surefire way to get a boatload of sympathetic media attention. Or all three. I do know their self-saboteurs took over, mutually reinforced each other, and have probably been in charge ever since. 

What If Bentinho is Trustworthy? 

I know Bentinho to be trustworthy—unconventional and challenging, yes—but a masterful enlightenment teacher who guides sincere students where he says he will: back into empowered alignment with their True Self.  

Try this thought experiment: What if Bentinho is trustworthy? Even if you disagree, just pretend for a second so you can access the rest of the view that comes along with that thought. Sometimes just trying on a new perspective—without commitment to buy—can be a useful exercise.

What if Bentinho is trustworthy? What if he is actually a sage who can help students awaken from delusion, separation, confusion and suffering? What if his teachings and methods—even the ones that seem problematic—are actually generous, wise threads of awakening? What if you’ve been judging him with biased, culturally-conditioned standards, and what if those judgments have been inaccurate? 

What if, for a moment, you could see that beyond his persona, language, clothes, hair, and cigars, he is actually an old soul who has dedicated his life to Self-realizing and distilling efficient ways to help others do the same?

What if he has already awoken from the dream, and he is working to help us wake up too? What if his teachings work? What if our job is to see where he is pointing instead of getting sidetracked by the way he points at it?

I am not telling you to adopt my perspective. But do check and see if you are able to unlock your existing perspective and consider a different one.  

Wherever you land in your perspective on Bentinho or our work, I hope you’ll honor your own discernment and remember that genuine wisdom rarely fits the stories we’re handed.

The Gift of Perspective

"You are not what you perceive; you perceive nothing but your own perception.” 
— Nisargadatta Maharaj

My exploration renewed my confidence about what we do and the value of our work. I was reminded that all legitimate spiritual teachers, philosophers and innovative thinkers over the years have faced some backlash or public denouncement, and I developed more of a macrocosmic understanding of what caused such enormous blowback in our case. 

The process of transcending the ego and awakening to one’s true nature is already disruptive and triggering for many. Add to that a group like ours which is especially unfiltered and irreverent (and previously less-than-discerning toward aspiring new team members). Now put us in an era of virtue-signaling, trigger warnings, cancel culture, increasing emotional fragility, rampant fear-mongering about cults, and social media-fueled psychological warfare, and we have ourselves the perfect storm. 

Experiencing cancellation firsthand made me privy to some of the cultural trends that underlie it. I began to see other media takedowns and instead of assuming their validity, I found myself curious about the truth, and nearly certain that what I was reading on social media (or in The Rolling Stone and other large publications) was distorted or sensationalized. Where before I was moderately trusting of the mainstream media, I finally learned what a reckless, attention-baiting machine it is. 

Whether it was Andrew Huberman, Russel Brand, Elon Musk, Aubrey Marcus, J.K. Rowling, or Mooji, I resisted the human temptation to dehumanize and discredit them as I read what their critics had to say. Instead, I stayed open to nuance. I didn’t automatically discredit their accusers either, but I started seeing through the one-dimensional story that was told, and began instead to evaluate their situations with more reliable criteria: vibrational intelligence and discernment. 

This inspired me to begin teaching about emotional maturity and practical spirituality; to begin to empower people to be more resilient, open minded, willing to learn, aligned with their True Selves, and better at friendship. I started sharing short videos on my Instagram with this intention and fell in love with the process. And recently I started a podcast. It’s called Perspective—and it’s where I discuss many of these themes and lessons in depth.

Meanwhile my friend and teammate Romee Fluit and I started a company called The Light Touch based on the same principles: to empower women to “Live True,” be authentic and real, connect wholeheartedly, and move through interpersonal difficulty into more unity, freedom and love. 

In 2023 we hosted our first women’s retreat in Thailand. We will soon start our fifth 6-month online mentorship, and we’ve got our next women’s retreat coming up in France. We are often overcome with gratitude for our work. How lucky are we? 

Despite the public drama, the past few years have been some of the most productive and creative for Bentinho and our team. Bentinho spent the last three years writing his new book series which offers a unified guide to the spiritual journey. Soon, Book I will be released online for free. 

For those of you who want to understand Bentinho and his teachings, this series is the best and most comprehensive overview of his work, his state of being, and the ultimate goal to which he guides his students. I wholeheartedly recommend it. 

Behind the scenes, we launched Massaro University, an online platform that now supports over 5,000 members worldwide. We’ve been traveling, teaching, collaborating, and evolving together as friends and teammates. 

This year, we’re hosting the 2025 God Tour in Europe which marks Bentinho’s return to public teaching after a four-year hiatus. The tour will include four free public events at major venues, a Weekend Immersive in Amsterdam, and a seven-day residential retreat in Croatia. This tour focuses on “The Forgotten Art of Knowing God Directly”—which teaches people that God (Source or the True Self) is accessible to everyone directly, regardless of their religion or belief system. 

* * *

By now, the trio of accusers have invested so much in their cult narrative that they have made an identity out of it. They devoted years of their lives to this cause, retelling dramatized stories repeatedly and clearly suffering each time. So to now be open to disconfirmation; to admit that they blew things out of proportion, slandered people, betrayed their friends, lied, blamed us for experiences in which they were consensual at best and ringleaders at worst—that would be problematic for their cult-survivor identities. 

This is the sunk cost fallacy: the propensity to keep investing in or defending a losing position because of how much you’ve already invested. If they owned up to their deception now, they’d have to (at least internally) admit to an entire smear campaign and forgo their pity-invoking moral high ground. That could be destabilizing, especially for people who seem magnetized to crisis and drama. 

But nevertheless, I encourage owning up. Speaking as someone with more love in my heart, gratitude for the past, and new wisdom—I recommend developing an outlook based on learning, awakening, and transcending the impulses that keep us busy protecting something that isn’t even our True Self. 

An Invitation to Think Critically 

I’ve shared enough of my perspective in this article to trust that if you’ve made it this far, you have the information you need to form a balanced opinion about Bentinho, our community, and the criticisms we received and will likely continue to receive. But this experience is not unique to us. Decent people are vilified every day on social media, in private conversations, in mainstream publications, and everywhere in between. 

I’ve learned from this process how unnerving it is to be the subject of a viral character attack; to be wrongly accused and considered evil. I know in theory it’s best not to concern myself with the opinions of others—Lao Tzu said, “Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner”—but actually going through a viral cancellation is harder than you’d think. 

I’d almost say that I don’t wish this on anyone, but if I look at my own growth and the strengthening of our team that happened as a result of getting publicly defamed, I can’t quite make that statement. 

I invite you to use a discerning lens when you read or hear disparaging content about people—even people you already don’t like. Keep your mind and heart open. Do your best to avoid the echo chamber of narrow perspectives, and be willing to change your mind. 

Not only will this attitude set you up for faster learning, better wellbeing, more accurate seeing, and access to more wisdom… you’ll also be laying some groundwork for Self-realization in case you ever begin to pursue enlightenment.

And if your interest in enlightenment is already piqued, consider seeking out more direct Self-realization teachings. If Bentinho’s style doesn’t trip your trigger, peruse the work of teachers like Eckhart Tolle, Mooji, Adyashanti, Rupert Spira, Ramana Maharshi, or Nisargadatta Maharaj. 

Finally, a Note on Bentinho: 

I’ve spent nearly 10 years getting to know the intricate inner world and teachings of Bentinho—his intensity, his passion, his intentions, his approach, and his sometimes startlingly unconventional choices. He does not fit into an easy-to-digest package. On one hand he is an impersonal, transcendent teacher with remarkable clarity. On the other hand he is a guy with personality traits and a body. This is a paradox all students of legitimate spiritual teachers have had to reconcile throughout the ages. 

I have hundreds of times (not exaggerating) been skeptical, frustrated, or confused by things Bentinho has said or done. I get why people villainize him. But I have talked to him about his choices until I understood the nuance and intention behind them, challenged him when I disagreed, bothered him with annoying questions like an earnest student should, and found out for myself what’s going on under the hood. 

Of course, no teacher or leader is beyond reproach. If I discovered malintent or a legitimate breach of integrity, I would walk away. My trust is not blind—it is earned, and based on consistent discernment. And so far, every time I listened, I learned. Sometimes I was blown away by the enormous difference between my first impression and the helpful teaching that was really happening. By opening up to learning from him, especially when I was initially offended or confused—I came to trust that things are rarely as they seem with Bentinho. 

Bentinho is a loyal caretaker and a protector of innocence. He is a wise leader and an exceptional teacher of awakening and empowerment disguised in the unlikely suit of a muscly 37-year-old jokester. After years of ups and downs, Bentinho has earned my trust. He is not infallible, but for the important spiritual or psychological stuff, for those of us on a true awakening trajectory, he has proven himself a masterful guide worthy of following. 

Enlightenment is about authenticity over strategy. Alignment with God over should’s and shouldn’t’s. Presence over manmade principles. As a result, Bentinho’s spontaneity and willingness to break socially-conditioned rules is disruptive. Just when people feel comfortable with him, he surprises them with a twist; an invitation for further growth. It’s part of his blessing and his curse: the same thing that makes him groundbreaking is also what makes him seem impulsive or unsafe. He is hard to predict. But I have learned that I can trust his intentions and methods.

This is something I respect about Bentinho—it takes courage to stay true to yourself and your innermost guidance, knowing it’s going to cause backlash. It takes humility to follow your heart and keep teaching the way he has, despite the repercussions. To understand him requires openness. To get the best from him as a teacher requires willingness to see his intent and what he’s really doing, regardless of the initial impact (like a bruised ego or an uncomfortable moment). 

Some Buddhists say that paradox and confusion are the gatekeepers to enlightenment. Bentinho’s approach provides an example of these gatekeepers. He is misunderstood by many and loved by those who have made it through the confusion and paradox. He confronts people with an uncomfortable choice: you either reject him or you face your own layers of disgruntlement and distaste until you see the truth. 

Bentinho doesn’t run a cult, and he’s not abusive. He is intense, ardent, and unmanageable (I’ve tried), and he says things that make people squirm. But he is honest and helpful. He is generous, quick to give people the benefit of the doubt, and he apologizes with ease and sincerity. He is devoted to freeing people from the illusions that cause suffering. He wants to help us awaken to the True Self, transcend our self-sabotaging egos, and live with greater joy and empowerment. He has served his friends and followers immeasurably.

* * *

I hope this article has made space in your heart not only for Bentinho, but also for awakening-oriented communities like ours, for true spirituality, for the hard work of ego-dissolution, and for the possibility that if you seek it, enlightenment might be attainable. 

In addition, I hope this article has inspired you to broaden your perspective and deploy greater discernment about your outlook and path, what is relevant for you (and what isn’t), and what kinds of worldviews and beliefs you are willing to adopt from others.

Finally, I wish you the courage to live in alignment with your True Self. 

With Love,

Cory

To see more from Cory, subscribe to the Perspective podcast on YouTube, Spotify or any major podcast platform.